{"id":86022,"date":"2016-01-22T11:25:25","date_gmt":"2016-01-22T16:25:25","guid":{"rendered":"\/news\/?p=86022"},"modified":"2016-01-22T14:26:22","modified_gmt":"2016-01-22T19:26:22","slug":"katies-story-how-i-found-forgiveness-for-my-abortions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/katies-story-how-i-found-forgiveness-for-my-abortions\/","title":{"rendered":"Katie’s story: How I found forgiveness for my abortions"},"content":{"rendered":"
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(IAmUntold<\/a>) After two abortions and a miscarriage, I wasn\u2019t sure a family of my own would ever be in my future. Sometimes finding forgiveness within yourself can be the hardest place to look.<\/p>\n

I was 16 and as my parents sat on either side of me, they told me the answer to my questions about why I was recently so sick. I had morning sickness, I was pregnant. I told them they were wrong and that it couldn\u2019t happen to me. I went through the next two days confused as everyone was telling me so many things and how I wasn\u2019t ready for something like this, and it just wouldn\u2019t be good for me.<\/p>\n

Two days later I had an appointment and my mother took me to have an abortion. I was numb about what I had done to myself and for the next few years I <\/i>spiraled down and away from God, whom I had always been close to growing up.<\/p>\n

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I went off to college and managed to go through two more serious boyfriends and the loss of my father.\u00a0 I never got to talk to him about my pregnancy and find out if he was mad, disappointed, or what he thought. It seemed to haunt me on a daily basis \u2013 to see the signs and people protesting what I had done, and it was taboo to talk about my life.<\/p>\n

I kept looking for someone to love me and help me get through things. When I was in college I met a guy with two kids and thought he was my answer and that he would understand. Suddenly I was swept up by someone who really didn\u2019t care about me as much as I thought, and soon I was lost and alone and pregnant again.<\/p>\n

A week later I had a miscarriage. I thought God was telling me that maybe I wasn\u2019t worthy to have another child and it killed me inside.<\/p>\n

I then ended up pregnant a third time and I thought to myself, \u2018I will do it all on my own and I\u2019ll find a way to finish college and make it happen.\u2019 I was told by others that I couldn\u2019t make it, life would be terrible, and the baby\u2019s father would never be there or help me. My family told me it was a bad idea and finally the guy even told me he really didn\u2019t want any part of it either. I was broken and drowning in terrible thoughts for myself and a baby that would be unloved and forgotten by others. I started feeling physical pains again, and it only made me think I couldn\u2019t do this anymore.<\/p>\n

I made an appointment and again lost my baby.<\/p>\n

I now am a graduate with a Bachelor\u2019s degree, a mother of two girls and married to a man that would do anything for us. I prayed for help after going through all these things, and I really had to separate myself from all the evil of the world that influenced me to do things I don\u2019t think I would ever do again.<\/p>\n