{"id":71142,"date":"2015-08-21T11:30:51","date_gmt":"2015-08-21T15:30:51","guid":{"rendered":"\/news\/?p=71142"},"modified":"2015-08-21T20:25:17","modified_gmt":"2015-08-22T00:25:17","slug":"baby-gabriel-ten-days-every-child-precious","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/baby-gabriel-ten-days-every-child-precious\/","title":{"rendered":"Baby Gabriel only lived 10 days after birth, but his life proves every child is precious"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

I talked the talk.\u00a0 Every life is a gift, and worthy of defense.\u00a0 We are not promised a particular quality of life, or a number of days that we will get to live.\u00a0 We are only promised that our lives are God-given and their length, their demise, is not for us to determine. These are truths that I have espoused since the days I felt myself called to be an active part of the pro-life movement.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

Then one day I was asked to walk the walk.\u00a0 In a cold, sterile ultrasound room a doctor \u2013 Not even my doctor, but some stand-in \u2013 shattered the world that I knew when she told me my child, gender then unknown, had a condition that she described as \u00a0\u201cincompatible with life.\u201d\u00a0 My mother cried, my ex-husband held my hand in stoic silence, and my mind raced to try to keep up with what the doctor was saying.\u00a0 My child, the 21 week old fetus whom I would come to know as my son, had anencephaly.\u00a0 If he were born alive, he would die shortly thereafter.<\/p>\n

There really was no decision to be made, only an inevitable outcome to wrestle.\u00a0 I would live every parents\u2019 nightmare and witness my child\u2019s death, but it would not be a death at my hands.\u00a0 I would live as I believe, and I would let God\u2019s will for my child be done. This was the path I had been given, and I soon realized that while I would spend the next 19 weeks hoping for a miracle, I had been tasked with praying for the grace to accept God\u2019s will, whatever it may be.<\/p>\n

My family and I carried the heavy secret for over a month.\u00a0 In that time we saw a specialist, who confirmed the diagnosis.\u00a0 Another ultrasound was performed to learn my baby\u2019s gender.\u00a0 The images only told me what I\u2019d known in my heart since the day of my positive pregnancy test.\u00a0 This was the baby boy I\u2019d been dreaming of longer than I could remember.\u00a0 Slowly we let friends and extended family in on our news, the burden becoming lighter as people rushed to help carry us along.\u00a0 We received more support than I ever expected and I began to realize that while my son would never be an MLB pitcher or a Supreme Court Justice, he was doing what politics cannot \u2013 He was changing hearts and minds.<\/p>\n

Still, the remainder of the pregnancy had its lonely and heartbreaking moments.\u00a0 An unknowing stranger would see my growing belly and smile, and just their smile hurt.\u00a0 At home there were times I could feel that my ex-husband and I were being strengthened by this journey but at other times, I could see that there was a tremendous difference in our responses.<\/p>\n

Gabriel Michael Gerard Cude was born on June 10, 2011.\u00a0 His name, Gabriel, was chosen for its symbolism. Of course, Gabriel is the archangel known as the messenger angel who delivered the news of the impending birth of the Savior of Man.\u00a0 Since his diagnosis, Gabriel represented a message that I could only speak, but that he was living: Every life matters.\u00a0 Gabriel means \u201cGod is my strength,\u201d and I know that when I was weak, it was God who carried me.<\/p>\n

\"baby-gabriel-love\"<\/p>\n

It must have been God\u2019s strength that fueled Gabriel, too.\u00a0 He defied the odds and everyone\u2019s expectations.\u00a0 The hours after his birth clicked by with friends and family filing in and out of the delivery room for a chance to meet him.\u00a0 Hours, and then a milestone 24th<\/sup> hour passed as Gabriel quietly and stoically held on to his earthly life.\u00a0 After two days the hospital discharged us.\u00a0 I remember our discharge nurse\u2019s parting words, \u201cYou\u2019re three of the luckiest people I\u2019ve ever met.\u201d\u00a0 In these decidedly unlucky circumstances, I knew that she was correct.\u00a0 We were living what every parent who walks in my shoes dreams of.\u00a0 Hardly anyone gets to bring their anencephalic baby home.<\/p>\n

\"baby-gabriel-smiles\"<\/p>\n

For ten days Gabriel clung to this world.\u00a0 On that tenth day, through tears my ex-husband and I told our son we loved him, that he had given us more than we could have asked for, and that we knew it was time for him to go.\u00a0 In our arms, Gabriel took his last breath. We washed and dressed and held his lifeless body until the funeral home\u2019s representative appeared to take our son away.\u00a0 His tiny body was respectfully placed in a car and we watched as it backed out of our driveway and disappeared at the end of the street.<\/p>\n

One year later, almost to the day, I watched as a moving van packed full of my ex-husband\u2019s belongings backed out of that same driveway and disappeared at the end of the same street, bound for the East Coast after a tear-filled goodbye that rivaled Gabriel\u2019s passing.\u00a0 When we started down the path of carrying our terminally ill son to term, no one could have convinced me that our marriage wouldn\u2019t survive either.<\/p>\n

In my research leading up to Gabriel\u2019s birth I learned that it is a misconception that most marriages do not survive the death of a child.\u00a0 In fact, in a situation such as ours, the decision to carry to term when an estimated 92 to 98% of parents facing the same diagnosis choose to have an abortion is often a decision born of faith, suggesting that same faith would guide the couple in fighting for their marriage.\u00a0 My marriage didn\u2019t end because our son died, any more than a marriage ends because a child lives.\u00a0 My marriage ended because through the death of our son, which occurred less than two years after we were married, our differences were magnified.<\/p>\n

Under the microscope of child-loss we allowed ourselves to become fractured to a point where we simply couldn\u2019t put things back together again. \u00a0Through the Catholic Church\u2019s annulment process I discovered neither one of us was emotionally equipped to enter into the marriage in the first place, and the emotional trauma we experienced with Gabriel only expedited this discovery.<\/p>\n

This is the part of the story that probably causes the most discomfort.\u00a0 Some people only want to think about the life of our son Gabriel, and the defiance of the odds in our choice to carry him to term and in his living for ten days.\u00a0 They don\u2019t want to think of the hundreds of days we\u2019ve lived since.\u00a0 Others seem to look only at the end result, wrongfully asserting that terminating Gabriel would have given our marriage a better chance of survival, and questioning whether we should have held greater priority over each other, rather than this terminally ill child who was just going to \u201cdie anyway.\u201d\u00a0 Both sides miss the mark.<\/p>\n

Gabriel was never a choice.\u00a0 He was always our son.\u00a0 He will always be our son.\u00a0 We might have done a lot of things wrong, but Gabriel was the thing we did that was the most right.<\/p>\n

I talked the talk.\u00a0 Life does not promise us happiness, only an opportunity for happiness.\u00a0 With heavy feet I tried to walk the walk. In my grief after losing my son, and then after the dissolution of my marriage, I had no idea what life held for me.\u00a0 Life didn\u2019t seem to mean much at all.\u00a0 I had to remind myself and allow others to remind me that life is a gift, even when it\u2019s tragic and challenging.\u00a0 I had to will myself to go on, because a big part of me simply didn\u2019t want to.<\/p>\n

I have since remarried, and so has Gabriel\u2019s father.\u00a0 We each have little girls now with our respective spouses.\u00a0 Life is good \u2013 beyond good.\u00a0 Life is better than I ever thought it could be when I was in my moments of despair.\u00a0 That nurse was right.\u00a0 We were three of the luckiest people she\u2019d ever have the chance to meet, though happiness hasn\u2019t looked like I expected.\u00a0 Happiness looks like my husband, and my beautiful little girl Eden, and the knowledge that Gabriel\u2019s father may have found the same thing with someone else, on the other side of the country.\u00a0 We are only promised life, not days, not outcomes, not ease, and not happiness.\u00a0 We chose to make the most out of what was promised.\u00a0 We chose life.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I talked the talk.\u00a0 Every life is a gift, and worthy of defense.\u00a0 We are not promised a particular quality of life, or a number of days that we will get to live.\u00a0 We are only promised that our lives are God-given and their length, their demise, is not for us to determine. These are […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":331,"featured_media":71748,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[2242],"tags":[19,1779,86,1049,4833,4831,344,4832],"yoast_head":"\nBaby Gabriel only lived 10 days after birth, but his life proves every child is precious - Live Action News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\""He was always our son. He will always be our son. 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