{"id":55649,"date":"2014-11-06T16:09:25","date_gmt":"2014-11-06T21:09:25","guid":{"rendered":"\/news\/?p=55649"},"modified":"2016-02-12T09:55:54","modified_gmt":"2016-02-12T14:55:54","slug":"teenage-mother-i-chose-you-even-when-i-wasnt-ready-for-you","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/teenage-mother-i-chose-you-even-when-i-wasnt-ready-for-you\/","title":{"rendered":"Teenage mother: &#8220;I chose you even when I wasn&#8217;t ready for you&#8221;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p>The idea of you terrified me. I wasn\u2019t ready. I was only 18. The act in which you were conceived was not lovely. And there I sat knowing my life would forever be changed.<\/p>\n<p>I pondered with thoughts that I knew were based on fear and selfishness. I didn\u2019t want my life to change. This was not my plan. It wasn\u2019t fair. I fell to my knees. It was there that God broke me of my selfishness. My fear. This was no longer about me. It was about you. I knew that I had to let go what of what I wanted so that I could give you a fighting chance.<\/p>\n<p>Through my struggle of what to do, I knew deep down in the depths of my heart and soul that you were every much as alive as I was.<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_55650\" style=\"width: 199px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-55650\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\" wp-image-55650\" src=\"\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/1551720_616166771826662_3253631761111477501_n-224x300.jpg\" alt=\"Kristen Nederveld\" width=\"189\" height=\"253\" srcset=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/1551720_616166771826662_3253631761111477501_n-224x300.jpg 224w, https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/1551720_616166771826662_3253631761111477501_n-523x700.jpg 523w, https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/11\/1551720_616166771826662_3253631761111477501_n.jpg 688w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 189px) 100vw, 189px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-55650\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Kristen Nederveld<\/p><\/div>\n<p>You were indeed a precious tiny child. A heart beat. A real live heart beat. You were a part of me. And I loved you. You deserved the very same chance at life that I had been given. You deserved to be loved.<\/p>\n<p>Letting you go would in fact not make what happen to me any better. Or any less painful. No, I would have lived with that regret for the rest of life. Because no matter how you came to be, you were my child. A little tiny human that God gave life. And ending your life would not have fixed anything, it would not have erased what happened to me.<\/p>\n<p>Several months later, I had a miscarriage. I lost you. And I broke. I had lost the very thing I did not think I wanted.<\/p>\n<p>As I grieved the loss of your precious life, it hit me. I was so incredibly thankful that I did not make that choice myself. I chose to love you even though it was hard. God chose life and I chose to honor that until it was time for Him to take you home.<\/p>\n<p>~~~~<\/p>\n<p>Friends, life is God\u2019s. It is not ours. No matter the circumstances. Many had said that due to the circumstances, I had the right\u2026To choose. Plain and simple\u2026That right is not mine.<\/p>\n<p>My body, my choice, is NOT more important than that precious baby that I was blessed to carry for those few months prior to my miscarriage. It was not my choice if that little heart beat should get to continue to beat.<\/p>\n<p>I look at the two precious children that the Lord has allowed us to raise and love. I would do anything. Absolutely anything to keep them safe. I would die for them. In a second. I would never do anything to harm them.<\/p>\n<p>And all those years ago, I could not do anything to harm my very first child either.<\/p>\n<p><em>Editor&#8217;s Note: This article was first published at <a href=\"http:\/\/mylifesjourneys.wordpress.com\/\">My Life&#8217;s Journeys<\/a> on November 4, 2014, and is reprinted here with permission. You can follow Kristen on Facebook <a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/MyLifesJourneys\">here<\/a>.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>The idea of you terrified me. I wasn\u2019t ready. I was only 18. The act in which you were conceived was not lovely. And there I sat knowing my life would forever be changed. I pondered with thoughts that I knew were based on fear and selfishness. I didn\u2019t want my life to change. This [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":272,"featured_media":54939,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Teenage mother: &quot;I chose you even when I wasn&#039;t ready for you&quot;<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"This was no longer about me. It was about you. 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I knew that I had to let go what of what I wanted so that I could give you a fighting chance.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/teenage-mother-i-chose-you-even-when-i-wasnt-ready-for-you\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Live Action News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/liveaction\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2014-11-06T21:09:25+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2016-02-12T14:55:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/baby-hand-fingers.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"671\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"257\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Kristen Nederveld\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@liveaction\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@liveaction\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Kristen Nederveld\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/teenage-mother-i-chose-you-even-when-i-wasnt-ready-for-you\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/teenage-mother-i-chose-you-even-when-i-wasnt-ready-for-you\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Kristen Nederveld\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/786a7c32be47e77b3abb4acfd2168625\"},\"headline\":\"Teenage mother: &#8220;I chose you even when I wasn&#8217;t ready for you&#8221;\",\"datePublished\":\"2014-11-06T21:09:25+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-02-12T14:55:54+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/teenage-mother-i-chose-you-even-when-i-wasnt-ready-for-you\/\"},\"wordCount\":517,\"commentCount\":8,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Opinion\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/teenage-mother-i-chose-you-even-when-i-wasnt-ready-for-you\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/teenage-mother-i-chose-you-even-when-i-wasnt-ready-for-you\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/teenage-mother-i-chose-you-even-when-i-wasnt-ready-for-you\/\",\"name\":\"Teenage mother: \\\"I chose you even when I wasn't ready for you\\\"\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/#website\"},\"datePublished\":\"2014-11-06T21:09:25+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2016-02-12T14:55:54+00:00\",\"description\":\"This was no longer about me. 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