{"id":55248,"date":"2014-10-27T18:45:47","date_gmt":"2014-10-27T22:45:47","guid":{"rendered":"\/news\/?p=55248"},"modified":"2014-10-27T17:14:44","modified_gmt":"2014-10-27T21:14:44","slug":"dear-brittany-our-lives-are-worth-living-even-with-brain-cancer","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/dear-brittany-our-lives-are-worth-living-even-with-brain-cancer\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear Brittany: Our lives are worth living, even with brain cancer"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p>Last week I came across the heartbreaking story of Brittany Maynard, a 29-year-old woman who was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer one year after her wedding.\u00a0 When doctors suggested that she might only have six months to live, she and her family moved from California to Oregon in order to obtain the prescriptions necessary for doctor-assisted euthanasia.\u00a0 She is devoting her last days to fundraising and lobbying for an organization dedicated to expanding the legality of assisted suicide to other States.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany\u2019s story really hit home, as I was diagnosed with a very similar incurable brain cancer in 2008 at the age of twenty-four.\u00a0 After years of terrible headaches and misdiagnosis, my Grade III brain cancer (Anaplastic Astrocytoma) proved to be inoperable due to its location.\u00a0 Most studies state that the median survival time for this type of cancer is eighteen months, even with aggressive radiation and chemotherapy.<\/p>\n<p>I was beginning an exciting career as a naval officer with my entire life ahead of me.\u00a0 I had so many hopes and dreams, and in an instant they all seemed to be crushed.\u00a0 As Brittany said in her online video, \u201cbeing told you have that kind of timeline still feels like you\u2019re going to die tomorrow.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><!--more-->I was diagnosed during my second Navy deployment to the Northern Arabian Gulf.\u00a0 After many seizures, the ship\u2019s doctor sent me to the naval hospital on the Persian Gulf island nation of Bahrain, where my brain tumor was discovered.\u00a0 I remember the moment I saw the computer images of the brain scans \u2013 I went to the Catholic chapel on base and fell to the floor in tears. \u00a0I asked God, \u201cwhy me?\u201d\u00a0 The next day, I flew home to the United States to begin urgent treatment.\u00a0 A few months after radiation and chemotherapy, I was discharged from the Navy and began formation for the Roman Catholic priesthood, a vocation to which I have felt called since I was nineteen years old.\u00a0 Despite all of the hardships and delays in my training and formation over the past six years, I hope to be ordained to the transitional diaconate this Spring and to the priesthood one year later.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_55249\" style=\"width: 160px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><img aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-55249\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"wp-image-55249 size-full\" src=\"\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2014\/10\/PhilipJohnson150.jpg\" alt=\"Philip Johnson\" width=\"150\" height=\"226\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-55249\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Philip Johnson<\/p><\/div>\n<p>I have lived through six years of constant turmoil, seizures, and headaches.\u00a0 I often changed hospitals and doctors every few months, seeking some morsel of hope for survival.\u00a0 Like Brittany, I do not want to die, nor do I want to suffer the likely outcome of this disease. \u00a0I do not think anyone wants to die in this way.\u00a0 Brittany states relief that she does not have to die the way that it has been explained that she would \u2013 she can die \u201con her own terms.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>My life means something to me, to God, and to my family and friends, and barring a miraculous recovery, it will continue to mean something long after I am paralyzed in a hospice bed.\u00a0 My family and friends love me for who I am, not just for the personality traits that will slowly slip away if this tumor progresses and takes my life.<\/p>\n<p>Obviously, I have lived much longer than originally expected, and I attribute this to the support and prayers of others who have helped me to keep a positive outlook.\u00a0 I will never claim that I have dealt with my illness heroically or with great courage, no matter what others might observe or believe from my reserved disposition.\u00a0 I am shy and introverted, so I have not let many people become aware of the depth of my suffering.\u00a0 There have been times over the past six years that I wanted the cancer to grow and take my life swiftly so that it would all be over.\u00a0 Other times, I have sought forms of escape through sin and denial just to take my mind off of the suffering and sadness, even if only for a few moments.\u00a0 However, deep in my heart I know that this approach is futile.\u00a0 My illness has become a part of me, and while it does not define me as a person, it has shaped who I am and who I will become.<\/p>\n<p>In Brittany\u2019s video, her mother mentions that her immediate hope was for a miracle.\u00a0 My response to my diagnosis was the same \u2013 I hoped for a miraculous recovery so that I would not have to deal with the suffering and pain that was likely to come.\u00a0 However, I now realize that a \u201cmiracle\u201d does not necessarily mean an instant cure.\u00a0 If it did, would we not die from something else later in our lives?\u00a0 Is there any reason that we deserve fifteen, twenty, or thirty or more years of life?\u00a0 Every day of life is a gift, and gifts can be taken away in an instant.\u00a0 Anyone who suffers from a terminal illness or has lost someone close to them knows this very well.<\/p>\n<p>I have outlived my dismal prognosis, which I believe to be a miracle, but more importantly, I have experienced countless miracles in places where I never expected to find them.\u00a0 Throughout my preparation for the priesthood I have been able to empathize with the sick and suffering in hospitals and nursing homes.<\/p>\n<p>I have had the great opportunity to serve the infirm there who trust in God with their whole hearts to make sense of their suffering. \u00a0Through my interaction with these people, I received much more than I gave. \u00a0I learned that the suffering and heartache that is part of the human condition does not have to be wasted and cut short out of fear or seeking control in a seemingly uncontrollable situation.\u00a0 Perhaps this is the most important miracle that God intends for me to experience.<\/p>\n<p>Suffering is not worthless, and our lives are not our own to take.\u00a0 As humans we are relational \u2013 we relate to one another and the actions of one person affects others.<\/p>\n<p>Sadly, the concept of \u201credemptive suffering\u201d \u2013 that human suffering united to the suffering of Jesus on the Cross for our salvation can benefit others \u2013 has often been ignored or lost in modern times.<\/p>\n<p>It is perfectly understandable that medication should be made available to give comfort and limit suffering as much as possible during the dying process, especially during a terminal illness, but it is impossible to avoid suffering altogether.\u00a0 We do not seek pain for its own sake, but our suffering can have great meaning&#8230;While often terrifying, the suffering and pain that we will all experience in our lives can be turned into something positive.<\/p>\n<p>There is a card on Brittany\u2019s website asking for signatures \u201cto support her bravery in this very tough time.\u201d\u00a0 I agree that her time is tough, but her decision is anything but brave.\u00a0 I do feel for her and understand her difficult situation, but no diagnosis warrants suicide.<\/p>\n<p>A diagnosis of terminal cancer uproots one\u2019s whole life, and the decision to pursue physician-assisted suicide seeks to grasp at an ounce of control in the midst of turmoil.\u00a0 It is an understandable temptation to take this course of action, but that is all that it is \u2013 a temptation to avoid an important reality of life.\u00a0 By dying on one\u2019s \u201cown terms,\u201d death seems more comfortable in our culture that is sanitized and tends to avoid any mention of the suffering and death that will eventually come to us all.<\/p>\n<p>Brittany comments, \u201cI hope to pass in peace.\u00a0 The reason to consider life and what\u2019s of value is to make sure you\u2019re not missing out, seize the day, what\u2019s important to you, what do you care about \u2013 what matters \u2013 pursue that, forget the rest.\u201d\u00a0 Sadly, Brittany will be missing out on the most intimate moments of her life \u2013 her loved ones comforting her through her suffering, her last and most personal moments with her family, and the great mystery of death \u2013 in exchange for a quicker and more \u201cpainless\u201d option that focuses more on herself than anyone else.\u00a0 In our culture, which seeks to avoid pain at any cost, it is not difficult to understand why this response is so common among those who suffer.<\/p>\n<p>I have experienced so much sadness due to my illness, but there have also been times of great joy.\u00a0 The support I have received from others encourages me to keep pushing on. I want to be a priest,\u00a0I want to see my three\u00a0young nephews grow up, and these goals give me the hope to wake up each day and live my life with trust.<\/p>\n<p>I will continue to pray for Brittany as she deals with her illness, as I know exactly what she is going through. I still get sad. I still cry. I still beg God to show me His will through all of this suffering and to allow me to be His priest if it be His will, but I know that I am not alone in my suffering.\u00a0 I have my family, my friends, and the support of the entire universal Church.\u00a0 I have walked in Brittany\u2019s shoes, but I have never had to walk alone. Such is the beauty of the Church, our families, and the prayerful support that we give to one another.<\/p>\n<p>May Brittany come to understand the love that we all have for her before she takes her own life, and that if she chooses instead to fight this disease, her life and witness would be an incredible example and inspiration to countless others in her situation.\u00a0 She would certainly be an inspiration to me as I continue my own fight against cancer.<\/p>\n<p><em>Editor&#8217;s Note: This\u00a0was originally posted at the <a href=\"http:\/\/www.dioceseofraleigh.org\/content\/raleigh-seminarian-terminal-brain-cancer-responds-brittany-maynard\">Diocese of Raleigh&#8217;s website<\/a> on October 22, 2014, and is reprinted here with\u00a0permission.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Last week I came across the heartbreaking story of Brittany Maynard, a 29-year-old woman who was diagnosed with terminal brain cancer one year after her wedding.\u00a0 When doctors suggested that she might only have six months to live, she and her family moved from California to Oregon in order to obtain the prescriptions necessary for [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":26,"featured_media":54464,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.7 - 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