{"id":46386,"date":"2014-02-14T05:39:26","date_gmt":"2014-02-14T10:39:26","guid":{"rendered":"\/news\/?p=46386"},"modified":"2014-02-14T05:39:26","modified_gmt":"2014-02-14T10:39:26","slug":"student-group-lets-talk-about-love-not-just-sex","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/student-group-lets-talk-about-love-not-just-sex\/","title":{"rendered":"Student group: Let&#8217;s talk about love, not just sex"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"alignright  wp-image-36377\" alt=\"heart-hand\" src=\"\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/heart-hand-300x300.jpg\" width=\"240\" height=\"240\" srcset=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/heart-hand-300x300.jpg 300w, https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/heart-hand-150x150.jpg 150w, https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/heart-hand.jpg 480w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 240px) 100vw, 240px\" \/>I\u2019ll never forget an article by Hannah Rosin, author of the book <i>The End of Men<\/i>, titled <a href=\"http:\/\/www.theatlantic.com\/magazine\/archive\/2012\/09\/boys-on-the-side\/309062\/\">\u201cBoys on the Side.\u201d<\/a> The article, which was simultaneously depressing and unintentionally comical, described the state of relationships and gender dynamics on college campuses. She began by focusing on a typical couple.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>The porn pic being passed around on the students\u2019 cellphones at an Ivy League business-\u00adschool party last fall was more prank than smut\u2026One of the women had already seen the photo five times before her boyfriend showed it to her, so she just moved her pitcher of beer in front of his phone and kept on talking. He\u2019d already suggested twice that night that they go to a strip club, and when their mutual friend asked if the two of them were getting married, he gave the friend the finger and made sure his girlfriend could see it, so she wouldn\u2019t get any ideas about a forthcoming ring.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>(I know: talk about a charming guy! Where did Rosin\u2019s interviewee find this winner?)<\/p>\n<p><!--more--><\/p>\n<p>This is what the <a href=\"\/news\/campus-porn-culture-a-real-war-on-women\/\">pornification<\/a> of college campuses has wrought. On one hand, men now feel comfortable shoving porn in women\u2019s faces (something feminists used to call \u201csexual harassment\u201d), and women jump at the chance to go to strip clubs to show the guys how cool and sexually open they are. As Rosin said, \u201cI found barely anyone who even <i>noticed<\/i> the vulgarity anymore.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>And yet there\u2019s a prudish fear of relationships, intimacy, and falling in love. The men and women she interviewed had a borderline antagonistic view of each other. They all insisted they love sex acts of all kinds with multiple partners, but would never do something as stupid as fall in love with one of them.<\/p>\n<p>While the article celebrated this culture as \u201can engine of female progress,\u201d I couldn\u2019t help feeling disgusted. The students came across as incredibly superficial, callous, and self-absorbed. If they\u2019re typical, is it any surprise that a group of students at Yale published a public letter declaring that \u201chookup culture is fertile ground for acts of sexual selfishness, in\u00adsensitivity, cruelty and malice\u201d?<\/p>\n<p>Luckily, the Love and Fidelity Network is celebrating Valentine\u2019s Day by encouraging students to think about the importance of love, not just sex.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"http:\/\/www.loveandfidelity.org\/\">LFN<\/a>, which describes its goal as \u201cbuilding the next generation of leaders for marriage, family, and sexual integrity,\u201d calls their Valentine\u2019s Day campaign \u201c#love: make yours a story, not a tweet.\u201d They chose this title because \u201cthe hook-up variety of relationship\u2026often looks more like a tweet than like a love story\u2014fleeting, impersonal, superficial, even gossipy.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cFor too many students, Valentine\u2019s Day on campus means being bombarded with messages that promote commitment-free hookups and distort the true meaning of human sexuality.\u201d said Caitlin Seery, Director of the Love and Fidelity Network. \u201cSex Week and condom giveaways are common features of mid-February campus programming, and we think students deserve better than that.\u201d (It\u2019s so bad that students at several schools send \u201c<a href=\"http:\/\/www.loveandfidelity.org\/2014\/02\/12\/what-women-want-for-valentines-day\/\">condomgrams<\/a>\u201d to each other in lieu of flowers or cards. The modern campus is so sex-obsessed, it\u2019s is the only place in the world where sending someone a condom is considered Not Creepy.)<\/p>\n<p>Students at nearly 25 schools are participating in LFN\u2019s campaign. They will \u201chost discussions, speakers, and other initiatives that promote healthy dating and relationship attitudes that respect the integrity of sex and offer a more meaningful vision of love and relationships.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>While the campaign has nowhere near the amount of administrative support\u2014and corporate money\u2014that has been poured into massive events like <a href=\"http:\/\/yaledailynews.com\/blog\/2012\/02\/17\/sex-week-navigates-sponsorship-ban\/\">Yale\u2019s \u201cSex Week,\u201d<\/a> it\u2019s a step in the right direction. After all, researchers have found that many college students <i>do <\/i>want relationships, even if they pretend otherwise. About 66 percent of women and 58 percent of men say they wanted their most recent hookup to turn into something more.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThis year\u2019s theme highlights the rich and unique nature of authentic love, something that is missing from casual encounters,\u201d said Seery. \u201cWe are excited to promote efforts that will spark dialogue and inspire students to think more deeply about what it means to write their own story.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>For more information, visit\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.loveandfidelity.org\/valentines-day-2014\/\">loveandfidelity.org. <\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I\u2019ll never forget an article by Hannah Rosin, author of the book The End of Men, titled \u201cBoys on the Side.\u201d The article, which was simultaneously depressing and unintentionally comical, described the state of relationships and gender dynamics on college campuses. She began by focusing on a typical couple. The porn pic being passed around [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":202,"featured_media":36377,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Student group: Let&#039;s talk about love, not just sex - Live Action News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/student-group-lets-talk-about-love-not-just-sex\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Student group: Let&#039;s talk about love, not just sex - Live Action News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"I\u2019ll never forget an article by Hannah Rosin, author of the book The End of Men, titled \u201cBoys on the Side.\u201d The article, which was simultaneously depressing and unintentionally comical, described the state of relationships and gender dynamics on college campuses. 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