{"id":40549,"date":"2013-09-14T12:50:17","date_gmt":"2013-09-14T16:50:17","guid":{"rendered":"\/news\/?p=40549"},"modified":"2016-06-15T21:26:58","modified_gmt":"2016-06-16T01:26:58","slug":"communicate-friend-considering-abortion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/communicate-friend-considering-abortion\/","title":{"rendered":"How to communicate with a friend considering abortion"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>
\"Juan<\/a>

Juan Daniel’s mom wrote, \u201cAfter viewing the abortion video I knew I couldn’t go through with it. You helped me to make the best decision. I am very happy and grateful for my new baby!\u201d<\/p><\/div>\n

\u201cI\u2019m pregnant, and I want an abortion.\u201d<\/em><\/h3>\n

How should one react when a friend says those words?<\/p>\n

My colleagues and I are routinely (and as recently as the day I write this) contacted by friends (and strangers!) who have friends who are considering abortion.\u00a0 \u201cWhat should I do?\u201d they ask. \u201cWhat should I say?\u201d they wonder.<\/p>\n

Their concern is the well-being of their friend and her pre-born child; they don\u2019t want her to go ahead with the abortion, but they come to us because they recognize a noble desire, while necessary, is not sufficient to save a life.\u00a0 How do they actually achieve<\/i> their mind-changing goal?\u00a0 They follow these four steps:<\/p>\n

    \n
  1. Seek to Understand<\/li>\n
  2. Support Her<\/li>\n
  3. Inform Her<\/li>\n
  4. Be Unwavering<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

    <\/p>\n

    Let\u2019s look at each in more detail, with practical tools to get the message out:<\/p>\n

      \n
    1. \n

      Seek to Understand<\/b><\/h2>\n<\/li>\n<\/ol>\n

      Think through your past to a time when you felt utterly overwhelmed and afraid.\u00a0 Think about an experience of despair where you felt helpless.\u00a0 Think about what it\u2019s like to feel panic\u2014to feel trapped\u2014and how that affects your decisions.<\/p>\n

      A woman facing an unplanned pregnancy may feel any number of emotions like the above, and anything you say or do is seen through the lens of what she\u2019s feeling.\u00a0 Rather than start your exchange by jumping onto a soap box, instead, grab a Kleenex box and ask questions that give her a chance to express herself.<\/p>\n

      Truly and deeply listen to her\u2014what are her concerns?\u00a0 People not only need to be heard, they need to feel <\/i>heard.\u00a0 This is achieved through affirming truth she\u2019s expressed, and communicating compassion:<\/p>\n