{"id":40103,"date":"2013-08-31T20:14:56","date_gmt":"2013-09-01T00:14:56","guid":{"rendered":"\/news\/?p=40103"},"modified":"2013-09-03T10:20:23","modified_gmt":"2013-09-03T14:20:23","slug":"abortion-activists-tell-women-lie-abortions","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/abortion-activists-tell-women-lie-abortions\/","title":{"rendered":"Abortion activists tell women to ‘lie’ about their abortions"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

\"Many<\/p>\n

Women who are considering abortion are at a very vulnerable time in their lives. Many of these women are ambivalent and uncertain, struggling to make the right decisions. It can be a scary and difficult time. It\u2019s also a time when support from those around them can be very important. It is tragic for a woman to face the terrible decision of having an abortion alone.<\/p>\n

Therefore, \u00a0it is disturbing that some pro-choice activists and clinic workers encourage women to keep their abortion dilemmas is to themselves, and, particularly, not speak to people who might give them life-affirming alternatives.<\/p>\n

<\/p>\n

In discussing how low-income women can raise funds for an abortion, The National Network of Abortion Funds site encourages them to lie <\/a>to people in their lives in order to get the money they need:<\/p>\n

Are there people who might not help me cover the cost of an abortion, but would help me cover other costs? Am I comfortable lying to a friend or family member, telling them that I had an unexpectedly high electric bill or gas bill due to heating or A\/C costs?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This is not only very unfair towards the people the woman is tricking into paying for something they may be completely against, but it isolates the woman from those who can help her. Isolating a pregnant woman from her support system and urging her to be dishonest leaves her vulnerable to manipulation by abortion clinic workers<\/a> and robs her of the support that loving family members and friends can give.<\/p>\n

Friends and loved ones can help a woman talk through her doubts, worries, and fears. They can provide much-needed perspective. They can tell her about resources in the community that can help her. While it is true that some people in the woman\u2019s life may urge abortion, keeping her dilemma to herself will only deny her any chance that someone could show her a way to have her baby. And if she does suffer grief and guilt after an abortion, whom does she go to for support? She can\u2019t go to those she has deceived unless she admits lying to them.<\/p>\n

Another website<\/a>\u00a0geared towards women considering abortion says the following:<\/p>\n

First, don\u2019t tell anyone. If you told someone you were going to have an abortion, lie! Yes, lie! Tell them you started bleeding and it was suddenly all gone. Cry a little, if you can, and say you feel better and don\u2019t want to talk about it\u2026 Remember, you can\u2019t trust anyone with this. If you really don\u2019t want anyone else to know, you have to keep it from your closest friends and family. You might be able to trust them now, but over time, things will change. Your relationship with them might change\u2026 Don\u2019t tell and no one will know!<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

This dishonesty can create a lifetime of denial and shame as the woman feels forced to hide her terrible secret from everyone in her life. It leads to women repressing their feelings while being forced to cope with their abortions alone, without any support or help. Such secrets can become toxic, generating guilt and regret that cannot be easily assuaged. Many women find abortion to be an extremely painful experience emotionally, and a great many women suffer regret afterward<\/a>. Keeping an abortion a secret can be a terrible burden.<\/p>\n

Abortion providers have also been known to urge women to keep their abortions to themselves and to lie if necessary.<\/p>\n

One abortionist discusses how many women do not tell their partners, parents, or friends about their abortions, and come in for them alone:<\/p>\n

\u2026While lots of women involve loved ones in their decision and some even bring partners, parents or friends to the clinic, lots of women don\u2019t. For most of these women, I think its [sic] about self-preservation. They don\u2019t tell because they expect their parents or partner to be unsupportive, perhaps even try to prevent them from having an abortion. I think the majority probably tell them later, when the fear that the unsupportive loved one can block their choice is gone. These women sometimes express guilt for not telling, but it strikes me as smart. It makes sense to call only on people one can expect support from. It only makes me mad that some women can\u2019t rely on their closest family and friends to support them, no matter what. (1)<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Actually, many of these women can<\/em> rely on their family and friends to support them \u2013 to support them to find alternatives that are life-affirming and positive. No one can legally stop a woman from having an abortion, but this abortion provider seems to feel that any effort on the part of a woman\u2019s loved ones to offer resources, encouragement, and support is a violation of her rights – unless, of course, they are urging her to have an abortion. Only those who are pro-abortion should be asked for their opinion.<\/p>\n

Another abortion clinic worker discusses how many women who come in for abortions have kept their abortions secret. Clinic worker \u201cSally\u201d calls abortion \u201ca woman\u2019s biggest secret\u201d (2). She describes how many women, when they get after-care instructions, will \u201cjust tip it in the garbage\u201d so that there is no paper trail connecting them to the abortion clinic. None of the clinic workers comment on how seriously this jeopardizes a woman\u2019s health, nor do they seem inclined to encourage women not to do it. The author of the article says that the clinic workers help women lie:<\/p>\n

If she needs to pretend she had a miscarriage, they tell her what to say.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

There is no need, according to these clinic workers, for a woman to tell the truth to anyone in her life \u2013 not her friends, not her family, not even the baby\u2019s father.<\/p>\n

Women who are encouraged to lie to their friends and family, both before and after their abortions, are being set up for a lifetime of secrets and shame. They are being denied alternatives and the healing which can come from opening up and getting help.<\/p>\n

1. Lynne V. \u201cWhat 1,000 Abortions Have Taught Me<\/a>\u201d Feminist Women\u2019s Health Center<\/p>\n

2. Margaret Wente \u201cA Woman\u2019s Biggest Secret\u201d Globe and Mail July 15, 2000<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Women who are considering abortion are at a very vulnerable time in their lives. Many of these women are ambivalent and uncertain, struggling to make the right decisions. It can be a scary and difficult time. It\u2019s also a time when support from those around them can be very important. It is tragic for a […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":153,"featured_media":27257,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[8],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nAbortion activists tell women to 'lie' about their abortions - Live Action News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/abortion-activists-tell-women-lie-abortions\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Abortion activists tell women to 'lie' about their abortions - Live Action News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Women who are considering abortion are at a very vulnerable time in their lives. 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