{"id":36561,"date":"2013-06-12T16:01:54","date_gmt":"2013-06-12T20:01:54","guid":{"rendered":"\/news\/?p=36561"},"modified":"2013-06-14T11:22:39","modified_gmt":"2013-06-14T15:22:39","slug":"dear-mom-with-a-prenatal-down-syndrome-diagnosis","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/dear-mom-with-a-prenatal-down-syndrome-diagnosis\/","title":{"rendered":"Dear mom with a prenatal Down syndrome diagnosis"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

Dear mom who just received a prenatal Down syndrome diagnosis,<\/em><\/p>\n

I know how you feel.<\/p>\n

Except \u2014 unlike you, I was holding my new baby, Kate, in my arms\u00a0when I found out<\/a>. She was wrapped in a blanket, looking up at me as I cried, listening to the neonatologist on staff tell me \u2014 only minutes after she was born \u2014 that she had Down syndrome. And what that meant.<\/p>\n

He said that it meant she had an extra chromosome. And that she would have learning delays. He said that it meant she was significantly predisposed to certain medical conditions, including congenital heart defects \u2014 and that we should get her heart tested right away. He said that it meant she had low muscle tone and may not be able to breastfeed. He said that it meant she would do things on a different schedule from other kids’.<\/p>\n

And in those first few days, after hearing those statistics, talking to doctors, and researching online, I thought I knew what it \u201cmeant\u201d to have a child with Down syndrome. And quite frankly, I was devastated.<\/p>\n

And so it is with you.<\/p>\n

\"Kate\"<\/a>

My Kate.<\/p><\/div>\n

But let me tell you \u2014 from one mother to another \u2014 those facts are not what it means to have a child with Down syndrome.<\/p>\n

Many of those facts may not even apply to you. Some might, but many might not. I\u2019ve learned this with all of my children. And I never allow generalizations to set my expectations. (For the record, Kate breastfed like a champ and continues to break stereotypes.)<\/p>\n

What those facts didn\u2019t tell me about Kate is that \u2014 along with almond eyes and slightly lower muscle tone \u2014 she would also have my thick, blond hair and full lips. That she\u2019s a Daddy\u2019s girl. That she loves peanut butter waffles and rocking her baby doll to sleep. They didn\u2019t tell me that she\u2019s a nurturing big sister, a doting little sister \u2014 and the star in the room wherever we go.<\/p>\n

Those facts didn\u2019t tell me that she would make funny faces and dance like crazy to\u00a0Fresh Beat Band<\/em>. That she loves to sing. And swim. And go to gymnastics. And unload all of my kitchen cabinets.<\/p>\n

What those facts didn\u2019t tell me in all that they \u201cmeant\u201d is what\u00a0she<\/em>\u00a0would mean \u2014 to me, to our family, to our friends.<\/p>\n

I look back on those first days, and I remember the feeling of craving normality. I didn\u2019t want to hear how life would be forever altered in some big way and that I would just learn to accept it. I just wanted life to be the way it was before \u2014 routine, \u201cnormal.\u201d<\/p>\n

Will things ever be normal again?<\/em>\u00a0I thought.<\/p>\n

And then one day \u2014 soon \u2014 they were. Except they weren\u2019t like before. They were better.<\/p>\n

Suddenly, the overwhelming facts and fears faded. Because instead of knowing a diagnosis, I grew to know\u00a0her.<\/em><\/p>\n

And so it will be with you.<\/p>\n

Because of her life, I have the unique perspective of seeing the best in the human spirit \u2014 and not just in her spirit (though she\u2019s quite spirited!), but in everyone else.<\/p>\n

In a world where it\u2019s easy to view strangers through skeptic eyes, I have seen an outpouring of love and compassion surrounding her. I have connected to those I wouldn\u2019t have otherwise. I have had strangers stop me on the street \u2014 just to tell me how beautiful she is. The world can seem like a scary place for any child, especially those with a disability. But I have met so many who just want to love her.<\/p>\n

I cannot tell you what challenges your precious one might have \u2014 just as I cannot tell you what challenges anybody\u2019s child will have, \u201cspecial needs\u201d or not. One aspect of your child\u2019s life just happens to be detectable by prenatal medical technology. But prenatal testing cannot tell you who your child will be, any more than a fuzzy, black-and-white sonogram can tell you how your child will look.<\/p>\n

When Kate was just a few months old, I went to Target to pick up some groceries. In line that day, I met the mom of a 19-year-old man with Down syndrome. And when I shared that my daughter also had Down syndrome, her eyes softened, and she held my gaze with a warm smile.<\/p>\n

It was as if we were both part of a secret sorority and she was an old pledge member. She asked me a few questions and, before leaving, softly said the words that I\u2019ll pass on to you here:<\/p>\n

\n

\u201cWelcome to your beautiful journey.\u201d<\/p>\n<\/div>\n

From my heart to yours,<\/p>\n

Lauren<\/em><\/p>\n

Editor’s Note: This article was first published at Sipping Lemonade<\/a> on June 12, 2013, and is reprinted here with permission.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

…And so it will be with you.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":338,"featured_media":36562,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nDear mom with a prenatal Down syndrome diagnosis - Live Action News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/dear-mom-with-a-prenatal-down-syndrome-diagnosis\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Dear mom with a prenatal Down syndrome diagnosis - Live Action News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"...And so it will be with you.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/dear-mom-with-a-prenatal-down-syndrome-diagnosis\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Live Action News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/liveaction\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-06-12T20:01:54+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-06-14T15:22:39+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2013\/06\/Kate-562x562.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"562\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"562\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Lauren Warner\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@liveaction\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@liveaction\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Lauren Warner\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/dear-mom-with-a-prenatal-down-syndrome-diagnosis\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/dear-mom-with-a-prenatal-down-syndrome-diagnosis\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Lauren Warner\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/6ed38a6b93e741e8c6081df641c1dbea\"},\"headline\":\"Dear mom with a prenatal Down syndrome diagnosis\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-06-12T20:01:54+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-06-14T15:22:39+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/dear-mom-with-a-prenatal-down-syndrome-diagnosis\/\"},\"wordCount\":821,\"commentCount\":10,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Opinion\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/dear-mom-with-a-prenatal-down-syndrome-diagnosis\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/dear-mom-with-a-prenatal-down-syndrome-diagnosis\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/dear-mom-with-a-prenatal-down-syndrome-diagnosis\/\",\"name\":\"Dear mom with a prenatal Down syndrome diagnosis - 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