{"id":332723,"date":"2025-06-13T12:50:15","date_gmt":"2025-06-13T17:50:15","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.liveaction.org\/news\/?p=332723"},"modified":"2025-06-11T22:22:42","modified_gmt":"2025-06-12T03:22:42","slug":"sperm-donor-husband-regrets-son-hates-him","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/sperm-donor-husband-regrets-son-hates-him\/","title":{"rendered":"Sperm donor scandal: &#8216;My husband regrets having our son and says he hates him&#8217;"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p>A couple who bought sperm from a donor and successfully conceived is now struggling, as the husband regrets using a donor and claims he cannot bond with the little boy anymore.<\/p>\n<h3>KEY TAKEAWAYS:<\/h3>\n<ul>\n<li>A couple unable to become pregnant purchased donor sperm and successfully conceived a little boy.<\/li>\n<li>By the time the child became a toddler, the father admitted he hates the boy and wishes they&#8217;d never had him.<\/li>\n<li>Using donor material to conceive children can cause difficulties, both emotionally and ethically.<\/li>\n<\/ul>\n<h3>THE DETAILS:<\/h3>\n<p>The Mirror <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mirror.co.uk\/news\/uk-news\/my-husband-hates-two-year-35356809\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">reports<\/a> the story of a couple who bought sperm from a &#8220;donor&#8221; to use when they were unable to become pregnant. They successfully conceived, though it is unclear whether the couple used insemination or IVF.<\/p>\n<p>The woman turned to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.mumsnet.com\/talk\/am_i_being_unreasonable\/5348870-am-i-being-unreasonable-to-think-dh-resents-our-ds\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Reddit<\/a> users for advice on the very personal situation. Her post, &#8220;Am I being unreasonable to think DH (dear husband) resents our DS (dear son)?&#8221; noted that she and her husband had been dealing with infertility for years.\u00a0Eventually, they agreed upon getting a sperm donor \u2014 an option that has been gaining <a href=\"https:\/\/pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov\/articles\/PMC6765402\/#:~:text=Results%3A,and%20had%20high%20family%20incomes.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">popularity<\/a> over the years.<\/p>\n<p>The woman explained that after the baby boy was born, her husband seemed to be a devoted father, but everything suddenly changed. &#8220;DH was brilliant when DS was a baby \u2014 nappies, feeds, up in the night, proper hands on,&#8221; she said. &#8220;But since DS turned into a proper toddler, he&#8217;s just pulled right back. DS wants cuddles, climbs on him, wants to play, and DH just moves him or tells him to go to me. He barely interacts now unless I push it.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>After discussing her concerns with her husband, she said they had a big argument:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><em>He ended up shouting that he hates DS and that going with a donor was a mistake. Then he stormed out and slept on the sofa. This morning he just got up and went straight to work without a word.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><em>I feel sick. We agreed on this together. I know it&#8217;s complicated and I know he&#8217;s struggling, but DS didn&#8217;t ask for any of this. He&#8217;s just a little boy who wants his dad. <\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><em>I&#8217;m heartbroken and angry and don&#8217;t even know what to do. I feel like I&#8217;ve got to protect DS from his own dad.<\/em><\/p>\n<h3><strong>COMMENTARY:<\/strong><\/h3>\n<p>Though the wife said, &#8220;We agreed on this together,&#8221; this statement calls into question the pressure the parent who is the &#8220;cause&#8221; of the infertility feels to help their spouse have a biological child that they are unable to provide. Feeling guilty and worthless, the infertile spouse may agree to use donor sperm or eggs even if they have doubts.<\/p>\n<p>The wife noted that it &#8220;wasn&#8217;t an easy decision&#8221; to use donor sperm, but it likely caused her husband more <a href=\"https:\/\/www.spermbankcalifornia.com\/blog\/the-emotional-journey-of-using-donor-sperm#:~:text=Navigating%20the%20Emotions%20of%20Using%20Donor%20Sperm&amp;text=Sadness%2C%20anxiety%2C%20frustration%2C%20and,lead%20to%20isolation%20and%20shame.\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">emotional turmoil<\/a> than it caused her.<\/p>\n<p>According to <a href=\"https:\/\/www.menshealth.com\/uk\/health\/a38145301\/sperm-donors\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Men&#8217;s Health<\/a>, using a sperm donor can be &#8220;emasculating and confidence-sapping&#8221; for men and can cause feelings of &#8220;grief&#8221; and &#8220;loss.&#8221; One man said that learning his body does not create sperm made him feel &#8220;worthless.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>It can be difficult for some parents to bond with children who are created using donor technology. One man, who <a href=\"https:\/\/anonymousus.org\/ivf-egg-donor-conceived\/\">found out<\/a> he was conceived using a donor egg, explained:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><em>Years and years later I still wonder and ponder, &#8216;who is my REAL Mother&#8217;\u2026 My current Mother [never] even really cared to grow a bond with me\u2026 It makes sense why now. <\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><em>There is a massive disconnection due to IVF\u2026 <\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><em>I WILL give my children what I never had growing up and still am suffering with [sic]. Hurt. Wounds. Depression. Anxiety. And the &#8216;unknown&#8217; of my identity.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>This is one of the major ethical concerns surrounding the use of &#8220;donor sperm.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>There are other concerns as well:<\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><em>&#8230; that children are growing up not knowing how many biological siblings they have or where they live.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><em>&#8230; that the intended parents often struggle to bond with the child.<\/em><\/p>\n<p style=\"padding-left: 40px;\"><em>&#8230; that the child grows up to learn about the lies surrounding their conception and goes through an identity crisis as a result.<\/em><\/p>\n<h3>THE BOTTOM LINE:<\/h3>\n<p>Donor technology may seem like a solution for infertility, but it can cause countless other problems to emerge. Open adoption, however, is one option that offers the ability to create a family without the ethical concerns that plague IVF and donor conception.<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/actnow.io\/G3Bhv6M\"><img decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"aligncenter size-large wp-image-325597\" src=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/LA25DefundPP_EmailBannerAd-02-1-700x251.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"700\" height=\"251\" srcset=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/LA25DefundPP_EmailBannerAd-02-1-700x251.png 700w, https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/LA25DefundPP_EmailBannerAd-02-1-300x107.png 300w, https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/LA25DefundPP_EmailBannerAd-02-1-768x275.png 768w, https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/LA25DefundPP_EmailBannerAd-02-1-500x179.png 500w, https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2025\/01\/LA25DefundPP_EmailBannerAd-02-1.png 1167w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 700px) 100vw, 700px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A couple who bought sperm from a donor and successfully conceived is now struggling, as the husband regrets using a donor and claims he cannot bond with the little boy anymore. KEY TAKEAWAYS: A couple unable to become pregnant purchased donor sperm and successfully conceived a little boy. By the time the child became a [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":62,"featured_media":192538,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[9455,3473],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Sperm donor scandal: &#039;My husband regrets having our son and says he hates him&#039;<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A child conceived using a sperm donor is in the midst of a marital dispute after the father began having serious regrets.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/sperm-donor-husband-regrets-son-hates-him\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" 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