{"id":331409,"date":"2025-05-17T13:14:01","date_gmt":"2025-05-17T18:14:01","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.liveaction.org\/news\/?p=331409"},"modified":"2025-05-15T18:15:36","modified_gmt":"2025-05-15T23:15:36","slug":"doctor-advised-abort-immediately-refused-thriving","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/doctor-advised-abort-immediately-refused-thriving\/","title":{"rendered":"My doctor advised me to abort immediately. I refused, and my son is thriving."},"content":{"rendered":"
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(Oregon Right to Life<\/a>) My husband Brian and I were 24 years old and had been happily married for three years when we learned that I was pregnant with our first child. I was born with multiple congenital heart defects, and although I had been cleared for pregnancy by my cardiologist, we were referred to the specialist hospital for our 13-week ultrasound.<\/p>\n

We drove the hour commute and anxiously waited in the lobby for my name to be called. I was impatient to see our baby for the first time and excited to leave the hospital with an ultrasound photo to make our exciting announcement to friends and family.<\/p>\n

When it was finally my turn, I followed the tech through the beige colored hallway and gently placed my hand on my stomach. I wasn\u2019t sure if it was churning from the nerves or just the unfortunate realities of being in the first trimester.<\/p>\n

Brian held my hand as I lay on the exam table, and the tech turned his focus to the fuzzy black and white picture on his small screen. And then suddenly there he was\u2014our baby. Even with my untrained eyes, I could clearly make out his head and tiny body, two small arms, legs, hands, and feet. He was real<\/em>!<\/p>\n

We spent the appointment asking questions and basking in the glow of becoming first-time parents. But it was when the tech finished the exam and flipped on the lights that I saw his face fully for the first time.<\/p>\n

Something was wrong.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll just grab the doctor to go over things with you.\u201d And then he was gone.<\/p>\n

Hard But Not Wrong<\/strong><\/h4>\n

\u201cHave you ever heard of gastroschisis?\u201d The doctor entered and bluntly questioned Brian and me. Unintentionally, I found my brain recalling a Grey\u2019s Anatomy episode, and I instantly knew that was not an encouraging sign.<\/p>\n

\u201cGastroschisis is a rare non-genetic defect in which a fetus\u2019s intestines and other organs develop on the outside of the body.\u201d She paused briefly and then powered on, because for her, this was just another day at the office. \u201cThis is not the only issue, though. With your heart condition, it is likely that your heart valve is not strong enough and will burst at any moment. With both of these significant problems, I advise that you abort before leaving today.\u201d<\/p>\n

The edges of my reality began to blur as I sat speechless on the crinkly paper. I sensed Brian standing near me and reaching out to offer comfort.<\/p>\n

\u201cNo.\u201d I breathed out. Then, lifting my face and making eye contact, I firmly stated again, \u201cNo.\u201d<\/p>\n

In her exasperation, the doctor rotated and then aimed her gaze at Brian, \u201cAre you going to choose this fetus over your wife?\u201d She spit out the words as an accusation more than a question.<\/p>\n

I went home that day and put the ultrasound photo of my son on the fridge just as I had dreamed. But out of fear, I placed an additional magnet over the portion of the picture where now I could not unsee the daunting diagnosis. Over the next week, Brian and I worked through conversations that you never expect to have in your twenties. How do you prepare to die?<\/p>\n

Although the storm raged in my heart and head, I never once doubted our decision to leave the hospital that day. I knew that the journey would be hard<\/em> and potentially heartbreaking, but it was not wrong<\/em>. I knew it was not our choice to decide whose life was more valuable. It was not up to us to decide how or when either of us would leave this world. That is power we were not meant to hold. I may not have fully understood God\u2019s plan, but I could have faith that He does not make mistakes. Sometimes faith means just taking the first step and then the next and then the next\u2014but the fear may never go away.<\/p>\n