{"id":329818,"date":"2025-04-18T09:45:12","date_gmt":"2025-04-18T14:45:12","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.liveaction.org\/news\/?p=329818"},"modified":"2025-04-16T11:56:23","modified_gmt":"2025-04-16T16:56:23","slug":"guest-foster-care-glad-wasnt-aborted","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/guest-foster-care-glad-wasnt-aborted\/","title":{"rendered":"GUEST OPINION: I was in foster care, and I am glad I wasn’t aborted"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Disclaimer: Opinions expressed in this guest post are solely those of the guest author.<\/i><\/b><\/p>\n

When I was about six years old, one of my parents told me, \u201cYou know, 1989 was the year I knew my life was over\u2026 I knew when you came along, my dreams would never happen and sometimes I wished I didn\u2019t have a 4th baby\u2026\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I was six. And the year I was born was 1989. I knew she was talking about me.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

In high school, at 16 years old, a friend of mine had asked me how I was handling all the family drama. She asked why I was always missing class tests on Wednesdays. I told her that I was put into a foster home and my CPS worker was calling me to the office. She asked if I could tell him to leave me alone, and I told her that was not how it worked.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

She asked me, \u201cDo you ever wish your mom would have aborted you so you did not have to go through this?\u201d And I said\u2026 \u201cNo\u2026 I just wish my parents did better so I did not have to deal with this.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I aged out of the foster care system at 18 years old and was immediately homeless. From 18 to 24 years old, I moved 33 different times. I felt like taking my life on three major occasions but didn\u2019t. At 24 years old, five of my siblings came to live with me in a one-bedroom, one-bathroom, 500-square-foot apartment. They were 19, 18, 15, 14, and 12 years old.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I focused on working on my bachelor\u2019s degree to give us a better life. It took me eight years to complete my degree, one year to finish my master\u2019s, and 3.5 years to finish my doctorate. My journey has been from poverty, to foster care, to guardian, to Ph.D.<\/span><\/p>\n

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Photo courtesy of Dr. Danisha Keating<\/p><\/div>\n

In 2021, I started to share my story because only 3% of foster youth will graduate with a bachelor\u2019s degree. I decided to write my story, \u201cFrom Foster to PhD<\/a>” and self-published my book. I was a guest speaker for a school when I commented, \u201cLife was really hard.\u201d Someone asked if I had ever struggled with suicide because of this. I responded that I had, but was glad that I never gave in to the feelings.<\/span><\/p>\n

Another person responded with, \u201cYou should have. It would have been easier if your parents aborted you or you killed yourself\u2026\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

I wasn\u2019t shocked by the comment but I said, \u201cI am glad I was never aborted or killed myself because I deserve life. I wish my parents did better\u2026 I never wished to be dead.\u201d\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

READ: Adoption and foster care are not the same, and it\u2019s important to know the differences<\/em><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

At the time of the Roe v. Wade<\/em> decision, there were 500,000 children in the foster care system. In 2025, there are over 400,000 in the foster care system and<\/strong> 5 million children in kinship care<\/a> \u2014 a distinction not made until roughly two decades after Roe<\/em>\u2019s passage. This is all in light of the significant increase of community-based organizations and government programs addressing the issue directly. <\/span><\/p>\n

Abortion is prolific, yet the issue still remains. It’s even worsened. Why? Because people often assume that foster care equals the parent\u2019s lack of desire for their child.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Many people coldly view the issue as a numbers game: If we have fewer children born then we\u2019ll have fewer kids who enter the foster system<\/em>. This obviously ignores the child who is already in the system \u2014 but possibly even more worrying is the willful ignorance of what landed this child in the system in the first place. Foster care happens because of the following:<\/span><\/p>\n