{"id":32973,"date":"2013-04-04T19:29:40","date_gmt":"2013-04-04T23:29:40","guid":{"rendered":"\/news\/?p=32973"},"modified":"2013-04-05T10:14:27","modified_gmt":"2013-04-05T14:14:27","slug":"i-know-because-i-had-one","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/i-know-because-i-had-one\/","title":{"rendered":"“I know because I had one…”"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

by Hannah Smith<\/em><\/p>\n

<\/em>Some people may look at me as hypocritical because I am pro-life. This is because on the day I turned 19, I had an abortion.<\/p>\n

I was about five weeks along when I took the RU486 pill. I was a young, naive girl who thought partying and fooling around had no consequences – much like many teens believe. I was in my freshman year of college at an out-of-state university which my parents were paying big bucks for me to attend.<\/p>\n

I came home for Christmas break, and my mother was adamant about me meeting her friend\u2019s son, so I did. I met him, and we partied together, and had sex a few times. One of those times being without a condom. After all, there were no consequences for me.<\/p>\n

\"test<\/a>I was raised Catholic, but somehow, I had lost my way. I felt the pressure of society and became the selfish, self-proclaimed woman that society had wanted me to be. I didn\u2019t dare tell my mother that I was pregnant, because I knew she would make me keep the child, and my life, as I knew it, would be over.<\/p>\n

As soon as I found out I was pregnant, I called the guy and told him, and his response was, \u201cYou have to get an abortion.” And as much as I knew it was wrong, I agreed, because I couldn\u2019t imagine my life as a single mother.<\/p>\n

I was scared. I knew that this guy wanted nothing to do with me, or with a child, for that matter. He forked over the $350, and away to a clinic I went. They gave me a pill to take orally first and a few others to stick inside my vagina.<\/p>\n

Coincidentally, this was right around the time of my birthday, and on the night of my birthday – when all my friends were out partying – I was inside my friend’s dorm room, killing my child. I cramped and bled in the toilet for hours.<\/p>\n

Isn\u2019t it ironic that on the day of my birth, I was killing my child? What made me so special that I got to live, but my child must die? Why did I get to breathe a lifetime’s worth of breaths, when my child would never take his first?<\/p>\n

I kept on living as if nothing had happened. It wasn\u2019t until a few years later that it hit me, and it hit me hard. I was pregnant, again. This time with my current husband, who had more morals than the first guy. He decided to change his life and become a father.<\/p>\n

I was reading a near-death experience of a man who was cast into hell. I remember breaking down and wailing. My husband didn\u2019t know at the time about my previous abortion and asked what was wrong. I told him, \u201cI don\u2019t want to go to hell.\u201d I cried and cried, and I still cry to this day, knowing that I killed<\/em> my child, and that I will face judgment one day. I cry myself to sleep all the time. What have I done?<\/p>\n

I was so selfish and self-absorbed that I couldn\u2019t allow a baby to protrude into my life. I also remember reading \u201cThe Testimony of Gloria Polo,\u201d which was another near-death experience, and in one part, God talks to her about all the abortions and unintended abortions she caused by being on birth control, and how each conception produces a spark of light which becomes the soul. Every<\/em> conception is beautiful and full of light <\/em>and full of spirit<\/em>. That spirit comes into life at each conception.<\/p>\n

I killed that life. Abortion is the greatest evil of our time, and we have brushed it off as if it is a woman\u2019s choice. If I could do time in prison for the murder I committed, I would.<\/p>\n

It shouldn\u2019t be a choice. The choice you have is the choice where you decide to open your legs or not. If a baby results, your \u201cchoice\u201d has already happened. I wish abortion was never legal, and I never would have had that choice, because I would be with my child, and my life would not be so full of pain and regret.<\/p>\n

Abortion is nothing but a selfish, cowardly act, and I know because I had one.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

If I could do time in prison for the murder I committed, I would.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":10,"featured_media":29900,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\n"I know because I had one..." - Live Action News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/i-know-because-i-had-one\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\""I know because I had one..." - Live Action News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"If I could do time in prison for the murder I committed, I would.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/i-know-because-i-had-one\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Live Action News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/liveaction\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2013-04-04T23:29:40+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-04-05T14:14:27+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2010\/06\/lonely-girl-woman1.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"339\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"227\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Guest\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@liveaction\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@liveaction\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Guest\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"4 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/i-know-because-i-had-one\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/i-know-because-i-had-one\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Guest\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/8f9b71db4fc7dc6c298d6a4130e314d9\"},\"headline\":\"“I know because I had one…”\",\"datePublished\":\"2013-04-04T23:29:40+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-04-05T14:14:27+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/i-know-because-i-had-one\/\"},\"wordCount\":738,\"commentCount\":66,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Opinion\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/i-know-because-i-had-one\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/i-know-because-i-had-one\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/i-know-because-i-had-one\/\",\"name\":\"\\\"I know because I had one...\\\" - 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