{"id":310867,"date":"2024-04-24T10:45:00","date_gmt":"2024-04-24T15:45:00","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.liveaction.org\/news\/?p=310867"},"modified":"2024-04-23T10:19:09","modified_gmt":"2024-04-23T15:19:09","slug":"alcohol-drug-abuse-abortion-healing","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/alcohol-drug-abuse-abortion-healing\/","title":{"rendered":"After a life of alcohol and drug abuse led to two abortions, she found healing"},"content":{"rendered":"
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Alcoholism and drug abuse ran in her family, so it was no surprise that Shilo Roy, who was born with fetal alcohol syndrome, also struggled with alcohol. When she found out she was pregnant six weeks after a one-night stand, the divorced mother of two young children was devastated.<\/span><\/p>\n

Roy told Live Action News, \u201cThis man was just an acquaintance so there wasn\u2019t any real relationship with him. We used protection but now I was faced with an unexpected pregnancy. I wasn\u2019t prepared to bring a baby into the world.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

She had no support system; her dad was a heroin addict in prison, and she had a tenuous relationship with her mother. Her ex-husband had avoided providing any financial support, and Roy was forced to work as a waitress to provide for her two children.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThere really was no other job that would enable me to take my children to and from school… \u201d Roy said. \u201cAt the time, I was trying to change my life but kept being pulled back into sin. I had a relationship with God, but not a committed one.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

While she knew abortion was wrong, she couldn\u2019t bear to place her baby for adoption, having to explain to her children she would allow someone else to raise their sibling. The decision to have the abortion tore her apart, but she saw no other option.<\/span><\/p>\n

Roy said, \u201cI cried out to God for forgiveness for what I was about to do. I felt remorse and swore I\u2019d never do it again.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

After the abortion, Roy struggled with self-condemnation and depression.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was continually beating myself up,\u201d Roy said. \u201cI had been dealing with depression for some time, but now it was much worse. As a result, I started drinking more often. My children didn\u2019t know what I had done.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Adrift in a sea of shame and guilt, Roy was alone, her secret hidden deep inside where it festered daily. <\/span>\u201cThere was nobody to come alongside me,” she said. “My mother was not emotionally present and everyone in my family was living the same destructive lifestyle as I was.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Second abortion propels woman into a dark place of depression and suicidal thoughts<\/b><\/p>\n

Roy started attending church again but was living with a new boyfriend. Her renewed conviction spurred her to break up with her live-in lover, though she still battled drugs and alcohol.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI was going through a really challenging time of transition, when I messed up again,\u201d Roy said.<\/span><\/p>\n

She had invited a friend over for dinner whom she had met 10 years prior, hoping for some companionship. What was meant to be a casual dinner turned into an overnight visit.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cWe hadn\u2019t been drinking or doing drugs that night so it\u2019s not as if our senses were impaired,\u201d Roy said. \u201cAs he was leaving, he grabbed me and kissed me. It was so sudden that I was caught off guard and my emotions were in a whirl. But I didn\u2019t resist.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Within a few months, Roy discovered she was pregnant. She fell into a deep, dark place and contemplated ending her life.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Roy said, \u201cAt the time, I had decided to go to Teen Challenge, but you couldn\u2019t be pregnant. I knew if I didn\u2019t get help soon, I was going to die. I was already half in the grave, but my arms kept reaching toward Jesus.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Yet Roy made another trip to Planned Parenthood and requested that this time, she be put to sleep. Instead, she was provided with a pill that would snuff out the life of her baby.<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cThat day, my mother came over to help with my children,\u201d Roy said. \u201cAfter swallowing the pill, a cop knocked on my door and handed me eviction papers. I had to vacate the premises immediately.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

Frantically packing her belongings, Roy was suffering from the first part of a chemical abortion.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

Roy said, \u201cAs I drove to my mother\u2019s house, I felt like driving into the freeway divider. I just wanted to die.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

As she arrived at her mother\u2019s home, she felt something rush out of her.\u00a0<\/span><\/p>\n

\u201cI reclined my seat and out of my underwear came a tiny baby with hands, feet and eyes,\u201d Roy said. \u201cThat moment was seared into my soul.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n

After her ordeal, she asked her ex-husband to take the children so she could get the help she needed. She stayed for a while at her pastor\u2019s house and with other church members but was eventually told they couldn\u2019t help her.<\/span><\/p>\n

Roy said, \u201cI ended living in my car for a time and couldn\u2019t hold down a job. It was more trauma than I could bear…<\/span>I had two abortions, so I understand the desperation women contend with. It took me a long time to heal.\u201d<\/span><\/p>\n