{"id":293896,"date":"2023-07-01T15:39:44","date_gmt":"2023-07-01T20:39:44","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.liveaction.org\/news\/?p=293896"},"modified":"2023-06-29T22:55:45","modified_gmt":"2023-06-30T03:55:45","slug":"sex-dating-memoir-men-abortion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/sex-dating-memoir-men-abortion\/","title":{"rendered":"What a sex and dating memoir reveals about men and abortion"},"content":{"rendered":"
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(Sarah Terzo – Substack<\/a>) Earlier this year, an anonymous author published a book called Memoir of a Divorced Man: Lost Innocence, Love, Sex, and Dating in the 1980<\/em>s.<\/a> The author\u2019s story reveals a great deal about men and abortion, abortion coercion, and a partner\u2019s role in abortion decisions.<\/p>\n

Encounter in a Hotel Room<\/h3>\n

The author\u2019s first personal encounter with abortion took place in a motel room with a woman he calls Barb. He and Barb met at a bar. It was New Year\u2019s Eve. The author wasn\u2019t looking for a relationship. It was a one-night stand.<\/p>\n

As they were in bed together, kissing and cuddling, Barb pulled away. With tears in her eyes, she told him she couldn\u2019t have sex with him. He asked her why, and she was reluctant to answer. But she was clearly very upset and troubled.<\/p>\n

Trying to lighten the mood, he jokingly asked her if she was married. It wasn\u2019t that, she said.<\/p>\n

But she still wouldn\u2019t tell him what was wrong. Finally, he asked her if she wanted to leave. She said she wanted to stay, but that she couldn\u2019t bring herself to have sex because he was the first man she\u2019d been with since her abortion. \u201cI\u2019m so confused,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n

A Woman Wounded by Abortion<\/h3>\n

The author told Barb that it was okay \u2013 there were things they could do together in bed other than actual intercourse.<\/p>\n

He says, \u201cI must have said the right words. Barb pulled me even closer… I again buried my face in those magnificent t*ts…\u201d<\/p>\n

Although he describes feeling a \u201csoft tenderness\u201d for her, after that night, he never saw Barb again.<\/p>\n

At the end of the chapter, the author gives this advice to other men: \u201cI have found that many girls will take their clothes off and engage in heavy petting if you assure them that you won\u2019t go all the way.\u201d<\/p>\n

He was, therefore, satisfied with the encounter.<\/p>\n

An Unplanned Pregnancy<\/h3>\n

After that, the author was dating a woman he calls Wanda.<\/p>\n

Wanda was initially reluctant to sleep with him. He says that \u201cTo Wanda, making love was just that, making love. She couldn\u2019t understand the recreational aspects of having sex.\u201d<\/p>\n

According to the author, Wanda had been following a path of \u201cspiritual celibacy\u201d when he met her. He talked her into a sexual relationship, telling her, \u201cTo deny our sexuality is to deny that we are human. Sex is the celebration of life.\u201d<\/p>\n

These words became ironic when she discovered she was pregnant.<\/p>\n

A Textbook \u201cPro-Choice\u201d Response<\/h3>\n

Wanda told the author about her pregnancy over the phone. He asked her, \u201cWhat do you want to do?\u201d and she responded by asking him what he wanted.<\/p>\n

The author says:<\/p>\n

What does she mean? It\u2019s not my choice. Then thunder claps, and I know that it is. I also know that I must answer quickly, leaving no pause for her to doubt my decision.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cI\u2019ll support your decision, either way,\u201d I say, which tells her that I\u2019m not ready to be a father, and that I can live with an abortion.<\/em><\/p>\n

\u201cThere really isn\u2019t any other choice,\u201d she says, and I hear her sigh.<\/em><\/p>\n

Is that disappointment in her voice?<\/em><\/p>\n

By pro-choice standards, his response was perfect. \u201cI\u2019ll support your decision either way,\u201d is the ideal \u201cpro-choice\u201d response. It is exactly how the pro-choice movement teaches men to respond to abortion.<\/p>\n

His answer is exactly what the pro-choice movement tells men to say.<\/p>\n