{"id":274426,"date":"2022-08-22T06:47:57","date_gmt":"2022-08-22T11:47:57","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.liveaction.org\/news\/?p=274426"},"modified":"2022-08-19T17:10:20","modified_gmt":"2022-08-19T22:10:20","slug":"pro-life-method-women-choose","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/pro-life-method-women-choose\/","title":{"rendered":"This pro-life method helps thousands of women each year choose life"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p>On a recent episode of the Godsplaining podcast, Sr. Bethany Madonna, a member of the <a href=\"https:\/\/sistersoflife.org\/what-we-do\/pregnancy-help\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Sisters of Life<\/a> religious order which ministers to abortion-vulnerable and post-abortive women across the United States and Canada, shared the pro-life approach that helps more than a thousand women each year choose life amidst tremendously challenging circumstances.<\/p>\n<h3>A new pro-life approach to crisis pregnancy<\/h3>\n<p>The Sisters of Life gently and boldly invite the women they encounter into a new way of seeing an unplanned pregnancy \u2014 a way of expectant hope that makes room for miracles, and admits the possibility of something beautiful coming from what many feel is a life in ashes. &#8220;Sometimes women have this experience [of unplanned pregnancy] and they\u2019re like \u2018oh my gosh, I can\u2019t believe this happened to me,\u2019&#8221; Sr. Bethany Madonna said. &#8220;And it\u2019s almost like the Lord is showing her in some way, \u2018I\u2019m here. I\u2019m here in this circumstance, I\u2019m here in this situation. And I trust you. I want another to experience your love. I think it\u2019s good. I want better for you and more for you, and here\u2019s a treasured gift I\u2019m entrusting to you.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She clarified, \u201cThat takes time, obviously, for a woman to receive that, because the concept of being a mother can be so shattering to her identity. But [it\u2019s important] to recognize that the Lord is present and loving and wanting to be present in that circumstance.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" title=\"YouTube video player\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/lglWyJ12-Vo\" width=\"640\" height=\"355\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><span data-mce-type=\"bookmark\" style=\"display: inline-block; width: 0px; overflow: hidden; line-height: 0;\" class=\"mce_SELRES_start\">\ufeff<\/span><\/iframe><\/p>\n<h3><\/h3>\n<h3>Miracles every day<\/h3>\n<p>Sr. Bethany Madonna addressed the \u201cmiracle stories\u201d the sisters witness every day. \u201cI think of one woman who found out she was pregnant, and she&#8217;d already suffered an abortion,&#8221; she said. &#8220;She never wanted to go through that again \u2014 it was such an agonizing experience, but she didn\u2019t think she could have this child.\u201d The woman, pseudonymed \u2018Jenna,\u2019 worried that the sisters would abandon her like so many people in her life had previously done. In response, the sisters offered to connect her with another woman whom they accompanied through an unplanned pregnancy.<\/p>\n<p>During the phone conversation the sisters set up, the older woman told Jenna, \u201cGod chose you for this baby, and that\u2019s so special.\u201d Jenna went on to carry her child to term, and she told the sisters after the baby was born that the next time a young woman was considering abortion, she wanted to be the one to speak to her.<\/p>\n<p><strong>READ: <em><a href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/unplanned-pregnancy-lifetime-pro-life\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">An unplanned pregnancy led to a lifetime pro-life partnership<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Sr. Bethany Madonna related how, within a month, another pregnant teen in crisis contacted them. The young girl\u2019s parents told her she had ruined her life by getting pregnant, and her boyfriend told her he\u2019d kill himself if she had the baby. \u201cListen, I\u2019ve made both decisions, and not a day goes by that I don\u2019t think about that first baby,&#8221; Jenna told her. &#8220;Don\u2019t do this according to what everyone else is telling you, because they move on the next day and you have to live it. You have to go with your heart.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>That second girl chose to make an adoption plan.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cOur own experiences, our own pain, our own sin even \u2014 once it\u2019s given to the Lord, once we\u2019ve experienced mercy and healing \u2014 we actually have a new authority when we\u2019re talking to others because we\u2019ve been through a journey,&#8221; Sr. Bethany Madonna said. Similarly, she sees the ways that healing from alcoholism, pornography addiction, and more can be a gift given to others as well.<\/p>\n<h3>How to accompany others through brokenness<\/h3>\n<p>Asked how pro-lifers and others can accompany friends, family, or total strangers through a journey of deep suffering, Sr. Bethany Madonna affirmed the appropriateness of \u201caccompanying\u201d rather than trying to fix the other person. Accompanying, she said, means \u201cI\u2019m with you, I\u2019m staying with you, we\u2019re together.\u201d She readily admitted, \u201cThere are times where I want to guide someone to actual professional help, or I do think that they might need something beyond what I can give, and it would be at their service to encourage them to reach out for that.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Speaking directly to the Sisters of Life\u2019s method, she explained, \u201cWe delight in her, which is a little counterintuitive because it\u2019s almost like \u2018ok, here she is in a crisis,\u2019 and you\u2019re like \u2018Oh no! What do we do?\u2019\u201d Instead, \u201cI\u2019m not in a crisis. I have time for you. I have room for you.\u201d A sister might ask, \u201c\u2018Are you hungry? Have you had lunch? Let\u2019s make lunch.\u2019 We could talk for hours about other things besides the pregnancy because we don\u2019t need to zero in on it. I care about her and I care about her heart, and I just want to hear what\u2019s going on.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>Allowing women to \u2018empty the bucket\u2019<\/h3>\n<p>The next part of the method may seem counterintuitive \u2014 but it involves doing nothing. &#8220;We reflectively listen,&#8221; Sr. Bethany Madonna said. &#8220;I receive what she says, and I don\u2019t put in my two cents and say \u2018oh, you know what you need to do?\u2019 Or \u2018let me talk about me for just a second and my story, because I think it would help.\u2019 Sometimes [sharing our own story] doesn\u2019t allow the person to really reveal what their need is. There is a time and a place for advice, and there is a time and place for sharing our story, but that might be after the initial receiving and just responding like \u2018wow, that sounds really hard, can you share more about that?\u2019 or \u2018If you\u2019re comfortable, do you mind explaining why that\u2019s such a difficulty for you?\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>The sisters call this practice of reflective listening \u201cemptying the bucket.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>READ: <em><a href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/seven-former-abortionists-reveal-moment-pro-life\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">Seven former abortionists reveal the moment they became pro-life<\/a><\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat experience of someone willingly entering into my suffering with me \u2014 my fear, my regret, my pain \u2014 sitting with me, loving me in it,&#8221; she continued. &#8220;That is <em>extremely<\/em> healing. I don\u2019t even necessarily need to give advice sometimes, because they\u2019ve gotten it and they have a sense of what they need to do, because they had the space and the validation of somebody being with me in it.\u201d<\/p>\n<h3>Incorporating your own story and experience<\/h3>\n<p>After the woman&#8217;s own feelings have been validated, Sr. Bethany Madonna said a pro-life counselor can begin sharing their own story, or incorporating their own feelings. \u201cThere is a time and a place where it might be appropriate to share your story,&#8221; she said. &#8220;It also might also be appropriate just for you to use your own knowledge and not share it, but speak with authority, having walked that walk. It might not be helpful for them to know that you have a similar experience, or that something even more painful happened to you. That might throw them off, or suddenly they don\u2019t know if they\u2019re supposed to minister to you. Speaking from your own experience, [you might say] \u2018I know how painful this is and sometimes the experience is shame or betrayal or hatred or whatever it is.\u2019 Maybe I\u2019ll just say \u2018Do you sense a bitterness in yourself at being betrayed?\u2019 And they\u2019re like \u2018Yeah, that\u2019s exactly what I feel\u2019 and they\u2019re not really sure how you knew that. But I don\u2019t need to go into \u2018yeah, one time I was totally betrayed.\u2019\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She added, \u201cI use my own brokenness to speak words of comfort and words of affirmation, and sometimes words with a directive&#8230; but I don\u2019t necessarily have to say where that\u2019s coming from.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Over 30 years ago, the Sisters of Life were founded in New York City. Now they serve women in New York, Pennsylvania, Washington (D.C.), Colorado, Arizona, and even in Canada (Toronto). They seek to help each person they meet regain their understanding of being valuable, sacred, an unrepeatable gift from God.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/liveactionnewsonline\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u201cLike\u201d Live Action News on Facebook<\/a>\u00a0for more pro-life news and commentary!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>On a recent episode of the Godsplaining podcast, Sr. Bethany Madonna, a member of the Sisters of Life religious order which ministers to abortion-vulnerable and post-abortive women across the United States and Canada, shared the pro-life approach that helps more than a thousand women each year choose life amidst tremendously challenging circumstances. A new pro-life [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":635,"featured_media":264933,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[2793],"tags":[19,18717,34,12954],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>This pro-life method helps thousands of women each year choose life<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"A pro-life method helps thousands of women choose life, according to a nun who is a member of the Sisters of Life religious order.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/pro-life-method-women-choose\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta 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