{"id":260871,"date":"2022-01-17T08:39:36","date_gmt":"2022-01-17T14:39:36","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.liveaction.org\/news\/?p=260871"},"modified":"2022-01-16T19:56:12","modified_gmt":"2022-01-17T01:56:12","slug":"south-korea-adoptee-reunites-biological-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/south-korea-adoptee-reunites-biological-family\/","title":{"rendered":"South Korea adoptee reunites with biological family 45 years later"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p>A 45-year-old woman&#8217;s chance assignment to South Korea was more than just another duty station for a military family; it was her opportunity to go home.<\/p>\n<p>Tara Graves is one of the many thousands of children adopted by American families following the Korean War. She left home at six months old when her adoptive parents selected her from a catalog of children 45 years ago. She and her brother, also Korean, had a difficult time growing up in their new home in Minnesota. \u201cIn the small town that we lived in, everyone was sort of predominantly Caucasian,&#8221; Graves <a href=\"https:\/\/www.stripes.com\/theaters\/asia_pacific\/2022-01-13\/south-korea-adoption-family-reunion-camp-humphreys-commander-4276727.html\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">told Stars and Stripes<\/a>. \u201cBeing five years old and having older kids chase me down at the bus stop, throwing rocks at me for what I looked like was very difficult.&#8221;<\/p>\n<p>The adoption of Korean children by Americans flourished following the Korean War, only beginning to end when South Korea hosted the 1988 Olympics. The issue was a source of embarrassment for the country, and it was only then that the South Korean government began paying attention to the issue. Before that, the adoption industry had been <a href=\"https:\/\/web.archive.org\/web\/20110716171451\/http:\/\/poundpuplegacy.org\/node\/33481\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">extremely lucrative<\/a> for the South Korean government; it not only saved the government from having to fund the care of the children, but adoption also netted them an estimated $15-$20 million per year. Many of the women who surrendered their children didn&#8217;t want to do so, but were poor and working low-paying jobs, and were often convinced to place their children for adoption by local orphanages. Afterwards, birth mothers polled said they felt extreme guilt.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" style=\"border: none; overflow: hidden;\" src=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/plugins\/post.php?href=https%3A%2F%2Fwww.facebook.com%2Fstripesmedia%2Fposts%2F10160792621632316&amp;show_text=true&amp;width=500\" width=\"500\" height=\"544\" frameborder=\"0\" scrolling=\"no\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe>\n<\/p>\n<p>With help from her adoptive mother, Graves began searching for her biological family at the age of 16, and managed to find her biological mother. They exchanged photos and letters, but her biological mother also refused to explain what led to her adoption, saying she wouldn&#8217;t tell her &#8220;until she saw me in person and that I learned how to speak the native language.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Eventually, Graves gave up. \u201cI think I realized that the older that I became, I didn\u2019t have this void of needing to go back to the motherland; to be whole; to know my whole story or meet my biological family,\u201d she said. \u201cI didn\u2019t let that identify me. It wasn\u2019t my identity, being a lost Korean American adoptee.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>READ:<\/strong>\u00a0<strong><a href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/woman-meets-daughter-taken-42-years-ago\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\"><em>Woman meets daughter taken from her 42 years ago: \u2018You are loved so much\u2019<\/em><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n<p>But then, Graves&#8217; husband, Col. Seth Graves, was named commander of Camp Humphreys, an Army base in South Korea. She realized she now had an opportunity to reconnect with her biological family and her heritage. But she was still scared. \u201cIt\u2019s almost like opening a box full of trauma,\u201d she said. \u201cYou don\u2019t know exactly what you\u2019re going to get.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Not long after arriving in South Korea, Graves was able to arrange a meeting with one of her biological siblings, a reunion which she said was &#8220;extremely emotional.&#8221; Graves&#8217; husband and their daughter, Jena, were also accepted into the family, while Graves finally got the true story behind her adoption. Her biological mother divorced their biological father, leaving him with six children to care for. And because the family struggled with poverty, Tara was placed for adoption.<\/p>\n<p>Kim Hyung-bae, the oldest son, told Stars and Stripes that it was not poverty alone the led to Graves&#8217; adoption; his parents wanted another <em>son<\/em>, not a daughter.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMen are blind in their own cause,\u201d he said. \u201cI asked our parents where she went but heard nothing from them. They were answerless. I once thought that adoption is better for her,\u201d Kim said. \u201cI also felt bad for her and thought [she] should be in the U.S. &#8230; even just that she should eat well and live well there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When Graves finally reunited with her brother, he asked for her forgiveness. \u201cThere\u2019s nothing to forgive,\u201d she said. \u201cBut for him, it was very important that he had my forgiveness.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Twenty-two years ago, Graves&#8217; brother and his siblings had their immediate family&#8217;s remains interred into one grave, and they engraved Graves&#8217; Korean name \u2014 Kim Eun-sook \u2014 on the tombstone. It was a moment of deep meaning for them, proving that after all this time, they still remembered and loved her. \u201cI thought we may see her again some time,\u201d her brother said. \u201cAnd I wanted to prove that Tara has a family in South Korea.\u201d<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><em><strong><a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/liveactionnewsonline\/\" target=\"_blank\" rel=\"noopener\">\u201cLike\u201d Live Action News on Facebook<\/a>\u00a0for more pro-life news and commentary!<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>A 45-year-old woman&#8217;s chance assignment to South Korea was more than just another duty station for a military family; it was her opportunity to go home. Tara Graves is one of the many thousands of children adopted by American families following the Korean War. She left home at six months old when her adoptive parents [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":7,"featured_media":193892,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[9455,3473],"tags":[12514,804,15239,15237,939,15238],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>South Korea adoptee reunites with biological family 45 years later<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"After a military assignment in South Korea, a 45-year-old woman was finally able to meet the family that gave her up for adoption as a child.\" \/>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/south-korea-adoptee-reunites-biological-family\/\" \/>\n<meta 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