{"id":186159,"date":"2018-08-08T10:54:24","date_gmt":"2018-08-08T15:54:24","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.liveaction.org\/news\/?p=186159"},"modified":"2018-08-06T13:02:21","modified_gmt":"2018-08-06T18:02:21","slug":"grandmother-chose-adoption-exist","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/grandmother-chose-adoption-exist\/","title":{"rendered":"To my biological grandmother who chose adoption: ‘Because of you, I exist’"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

I am the child of an adoptee.\u00a0Back when adoption was not as common as it is today, my grandparents were unable to have biological children, and decided to adopt a three-year-old boy, followed by my mother, who was adopted at birth. I\u2019m\u00a0told my grandparents were very open with the fact that my mother and her brother were adopted and my\u00a0grandmother always told her children that she was a mother through her heart. My mother, who went on to\u00a0marry my father and have biological children, gave birth to both my brother and me. Since my\u00a0mother and grandparents share similar traits — like blond hair and light eyes — my brother and I grew up never\u00a0even imagining my mother was adopted.<\/p>\n

\"adoption\"

The author, Jaclyn, as a child<\/p><\/div>\n

Once we learned the truth, we asked about\u00a0possibly finding our biological relatives, but my mother stated that she had no desire to seek them out and we\u00a0respected that decision. We were surprised, to say the least, but moved on rather quickly and never gave it\u00a0much thought — until I became pregnant with a child of my own.<\/p>\n

As my husband and I were sitting in the doctor\u2019s office for that initial visit — filling out so many forms I swear I could\u00a0have written a book — I came across the one that spoke of family history. For the first time in my life, I felt a void\u00a0over not knowing my biological predecessors. There were so many questions I couldn\u2019t answer — simple\u00a0questions like\u00a0“history of heart disease,” “history of mental illness,” “history of cancer,” etc. Now I\u2019m not going to\u00a0lie, I\u2019d always felt a twinge of curiosity over who these people could be, but it was the kind of curiosity you see\u00a0in the movies (i.e. insanely rich uncle dies without an heir and lawyer finds you and you inherit millions). But I\u2019d\u00a0never felt a\u00a0void\u00a0until that day. It was a sad yet odd feeling leaving everything blank and then explaining to my\u00a0doctor why.<\/p>\n

As we left the doctor\u2019s office that day, my head was flooded with questions. Who will my baby look like? Will I\u00a0unknowingly pass along a genetic issue to them? What if I have a medical predisposition and don’t know it?<\/em> The\u00a0list could go on and on and the answer was always the same\u2026\u00a0I don\u2019t know. My parents\u00a0were steadfast in their decision to not seek out any information. As my father put it:\u00a0Jaclyn, I never\u00a0worried about any of that stuff and you guys turned out fine so you shouldn\u2019t either.\u00a0But four kids later, I sometimes still worry that something might come up in the future that I can\u2019t explain, or that one day I or my children might see someone that looks eerily familiar to us, but we don\u2019t know why.<\/p>\n

READ: Singer Sarah McLachlan, other celebs explain what it feels like to be adopted<\/em><\/a><\/strong><\/p>\n

Often, I wonder what circumstances led my biological grandmother to place her baby for adoption. I wonder what she might be doing today\u2026 whether she is married with other kids or grandkids… whether my biological grandfather knew about my mother. The questions are endless.<\/p>\n

Mostly, though, I\u2019m grateful. I\u2019m grateful to the woman who sacrificed herself to have a child knowing she\u00a0wasn\u2019t going to see that child grow. I\u2019m grateful to the woman who chose life. I\u2019m grateful to the woman who made\u00a0what I imagine was the most selfless and gut wrenching choice to place her baby with strangers knowing she\u00a0would never see her again or know anything else about her daughter. I\u2019m grateful she chose my grandparents to raise my\u00a0mother. I\u2019m grateful she loved my mother enough to know she couldn\u2019t be the parent she needed and found\u00a0people that could be. I\u2019m grateful she gave my mom the best chance at life.<\/p>\n

So though I may always have certain questions about my biology and hypothetical long lost relatives, there is\u00a0one thing I know for certain: biology\u00a0doesn\u2019t mean\u00a0family, and I am blessed with a great family.<\/p>\n

To the woman\u00a0who placed my mother for adoption all those years ago, I\u2019d like to say thank you. You made a choice I\u2019ve\u00a0never had to make\u2026 and you did it with class. Because of you, I exist, my children exist, and (hopefully) one\u00a0day, my grandchildren will exist. You may or may not know it but you gave us the greatest gift a person can\u00a0give. You gave us a chance to live.<\/p>\n

Editor’s Note: The opinions expressed in this article are those of the guest author and do not necessarily reflect the views of Live Action or Live Action News.<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

I am the child of an adoptee.\u00a0Back when adoption was not as common as it is today, my grandparents were unable to have biological children, and decided to adopt a three-year-old boy, followed by my mother, who was adopted at birth. I\u2019m\u00a0told my grandparents were very open with the fact that my mother and her […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":584,"featured_media":81003,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[7077],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nTo my biological grandmother who chose adoption: 'Because of you, I exist'<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\""To the woman\u00a0who placed my mother for adoption all those years ago, I\u2019d like to say thank you. 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