{"id":181322,"date":"2018-04-09T17:41:54","date_gmt":"2018-04-09T21:41:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.liveaction.org\/news\/?p=181322"},"modified":"2018-04-09T18:34:56","modified_gmt":"2018-04-09T22:34:56","slug":"got-pregnant-18-today-teens","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/got-pregnant-18-today-teens\/","title":{"rendered":"Pregnant at 18, Kelly rejected abortion and placed her baby for adoption"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p>(<a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailysignal.com\/2018\/04\/08\/she-got-pregnant-at-18-and-did-something-that-today-few-teens-do\/\">The Daily Signal<\/a>)\u00a0Kelly Clemente found out she was pregnant when she was 18. She had just finished her first semester of college, and up until then, described herself as your typical \u201call-American girl.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She got good grades, was a member of a sorority, and ran on the track team.<\/p>\n<p>When she saw that pregnancy test, \u201cMy life is over,\u201d she thought.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was like, it doesn\u2019t even matter. Nothing matters anymore,\u201d Kelly told The Daily Signal.<\/p>\n<p>Kelly, unlike most girls her age, was familiar with the implications of an unplanned pregnancy. In high school, she volunteered at HOPE in Northern Virginia, a nonprofit that creates gift baskets for mothers faced with an unplanned pregnancy.<\/p>\n<p>Although she shared compassion for them, Kelly had bought into the stigmas about birth moms. \u201cI\u2019ll never be one of those women,\u201d she thought.<\/p>\n<p>But she was wrong. At 18, Kelly became an unplanned pregnancy statistic. \u201cI was no better than these women that I was creating baskets for,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>After crying and feeling nothing but noise and chaos, Kelly thought of her little sister, who her parents had adopted into their family from Central America.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI thought of the joy she brought into our family, and for the first moment after hours of crying, I felt calm, and I felt peaceful,\u201d Kelly said. \u201cI knew that I needed to make the decision that my sister\u2019s birth mom had made.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kelly would carry her baby to term, and place him\u2014or her\u2014for adoption.<\/p>\n<p>But first, she\u2019d have to tell her parents.<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><iframe loading=\"lazy\" src=\"https:\/\/www.youtube.com\/embed\/zV12iWvEp4s\" width=\"640\" height=\"355\" frameborder=\"0\" allowfullscreen=\"allowfullscreen\"><\/iframe><\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2018Parents\u2019 Worst Nightmare\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Within days upon learning she was pregnant, Kelly had to figure out how to come clean with her parents. \u201cI expected them to be angry,\u201d she said. \u201cParents\u2019 worst nightmare, right?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>First, she called her mom from school to say she wasn\u2019t feeling well.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was concerned enough to go to school to see firsthand what was going on,\u201d Susan Clemente, Kelly\u2019s mom, said.<\/p>\n<p>The two went grocery shopping together, but Kelly avoided sharing the news. Sensing something was wrong, her mom invited Kelly to come back home.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThat entire ride home, I never once told you that I was pregnant,\u201d Kelly said, speaking to her mom about that day. \u201cYou told me later that you just knew.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI did,\u201d Kelly\u2019s mom replied.<\/p>\n<p>When they got home, they sat on the living room couch and talked so intently that the sun went down without anyone noticing. When her dad, Mark, arrived home from work, he asked, \u201cWhy are you all sitting in the dark?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At that moment, Kelly had to confront one of her biggest fears\u2014telling her dad she was pregnant.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI could tell something was going on,\u201d he said of the two sitting in the dark.<\/p>\n<p>Almost in the same breath, Kelly broke the news that she was pregnant\u2014and going to place the child for adoption.<\/p>\n<p>Instead of responding with anger or disappointment, Mark told The Daily Signal, \u201cI just remember being so grateful and proud.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cWe\u2019d hoped that we had raised you that way,\u201d her dad said, speaking to Kelly. \u201cSo the fact that you didn\u2019t even entertain that thought [abortion], to be honest, it was a very proud moment.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>After that, Kelly moved back in with her parents and set up an appointment with Bethany Christian Services, an organization that facilitates private, faith-based adoptions.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2018Little Treasure\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Walking into Bethany Christian Services, Kelly was expecting \u201cthe wrath of God\u201d to be on her.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI\u2019m going to an adoption agency, and I\u2019m going to be judged,\u201d she said. But when she walked in there, \u201cI never experienced any of that,\u201d she said.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThey showed me what it was like to walk with someone through the hardest time of their life when they are feeling so down on themselves and so alone, they were there.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Shawn and Dave Hansen were the second couple Kelly and her mom met with in the adoption process.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt was so obvious that these were the people that would have her little treasure,\u201d her mom told The Daily Signal.<\/p>\n<p>But finding them was the easy part. Kelly was 18, in college, and still pregnant.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2018Where\u2019s My Choice?\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cBeing pregnant and being in college is never really a great thing,\u201d Kelly said. \u201cI found out very quickly who my true friends were.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At one point, she told a friend on her track team that she was pregnant and placing her child for adoption. His response was less than supportive.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIf you don\u2019t get an <a href=\"http:\/\/abortionprocedures.com\">abortion<\/a>, I will lose all respect for you,\u201d Kelly remembered him saying.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was horrified,\u201d Kelly said. \u201cYou call yourself pro-choice, but where\u2019s my choice? It\u2019s my choice to choose adoption.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Then, two weeks before the birth, Kelly got a phone call from the baby\u2019s father\u2019s best friend informing her the father\u2014Kelly\u2019s boyfriend at the time\u2014wasn\u2019t being faithful.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was devastated,\u201d Kelly said. \u201cThis is someone I knew for eight years, this is someone I trusted. I\u2019m having his baby. We had conversations about getting married.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Hearing that news was the second hardest news to take over those nine months, Kelly said. Her entire identity had already been shattered, and her relationship now was, too.<\/p>\n<p>At a low point, Kelly walked out to her parents\u2019 driveway in the middle of the night. She laid down on the road, in the dark, and prayed that a car would come run her over.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI want to die,\u201d Kelly remembered thinking. \u201cI can\u2019t handle this. This is too much for me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>At that moment, Kelly said she heard a voice from God telling her to get up. So she did.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI got up, and I said, \u2018OK, I know that this sweet baby did nothing wrong, so I don\u2019t want him to get hurt, so I\u2019m going to have this baby and then I\u2019m going to take my life.\u2019 Because I was so broken, I didn\u2019t think there was any meaning left.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>But then the voice came back and said, \u201cNo, I\u2019m not done with you yet.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cAt that moment, I knew that I was loved by a really big God who had a really big heart, that didn\u2019t judge me by my pregnancy and still loved me so much,\u201d Kelly said.<\/p>\n<p>A few weeks later, her water broke, and Kelly gave birth to a healthy baby boy.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2018An Answer to My Prayers\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>\u201cThose three days I spent in the hospital, he was mine,\u201d Kelly said of her birth son, Alex. But after those three days, it was time to place Alex with his adoptive parents, Shawn and Dave Hansen.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI don\u2019t sugarcoat that because it\u2019s real life and I loved this child so much, but I couldn\u2019t give him a father, I couldn\u2019t give him brothers and sisters for a long time, I couldn\u2019t provide him with what felt like anything he deserved.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She then walked to the hospital chapel, said a prayer for everything to be OK, and at that moment, Dave and Shawn walked in.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was like, wow,\u201d Kelly said. \u201cThey truly are an answer to my prayers.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Handing her baby to another family wasn\u2019t going to be easy, even though the family was the living embodiment of her prayers.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI thought the hardest day of my life would be finding out that I was pregnant,\u201d Kelly said. \u201cIt wasn\u2019t.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cThe hardest day of my life was driving away from that hospital without a baby. I had never felt more empty in my life. I was physically empty, and I felt so alone.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kelly made a decision that in today\u2019s society, few women do.<\/p>\n<p>In 2014, the latest data available, 18,329 women in the U.S. chose to place their children for adoption. That same year, more than <a href=\"https:\/\/www.guttmacher.org\/fact-sheet\/induced-abortion-united-states\">900,000<\/a> women chose abortion. According to the National Council for Adoption, a nonpartisan group that advocates adoption, for every 1,000 abortions and births to unmarried women, there were only 6.9 adoptions.<\/p>\n<p><strong>\u2018It\u2019s Over Now\u2019<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Kelly gave birth in September 2008, and returned to college in January. Much like the pregnancy, the transition back wasn\u2019t easy.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI remember everybody just telling me over and over again, \u2018It\u2019s over now. It\u2019s over. Aren\u2019t you so glad that this is over?\u2019\u201d Kelly said.<\/p>\n<p>But she felt differently.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI was fine without drinking, I was fine without sleeping around. I had lived a life I was proud of while I was pregnant, and I wanted that to continue but I was feeling so much pressure to just be that fun sorority party girl that I was before my entire life changed. No one seemed to wrap their head around the fact that my entire worldview had been shifted.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Today, Kelly is 28 years old. She graduated from college and went back to receive a master\u2019s degree in school counseling.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cMy heart is for children,\u201d Kelly said. For now, she\u2019s teaching preschool and hopes one day to be either a school counselor or a voice for teen moms and teen birth moms.<\/p>\n<p>\u201cI want them to know that they have value and their life isn\u2019t over. They have their whole life ahead of them.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>She also wants birth moms to know that children placed with adoptive families \u201care not lacking in love.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Her son, Kelly said, \u201cnot only receives love from his adoptive parents. He receives love from me, he receives love from my parents, there\u2019s so much love to go around.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>Kelly chose to have an open adoption with Alex and his parents, and sees him a couple times every year.<\/p>\n<p>After enjoying time together, Kelly said, \u201cYou would think that it would be this emotional thing where I\u2019m so upset that my birth son is going back with his adoptive parents.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>\u201cIt\u2019s not,\u201d she said. \u201cIt\u2019s this beautiful thing where he\u2019s happy that he\u2019s seen me, I\u2019m happy that I\u2019ve seen him. He knows who is parents are. He knows that I\u2019m not mom. One day I hope to be a mom, but I\u2019m not his mom. I get to be birth mommy. And that\u2019s OK with me.\u201d<\/p>\n<p><em>Editor&#8217;s Note: This article was originally published at <a href=\"https:\/\/www.dailysignal.com\/2018\/04\/08\/she-got-pregnant-at-18-and-did-something-that-today-few-teens-do\/\">The Daily Signal<\/a> and is reprinted here with permission.\u00a0<\/em><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>(The Daily Signal)\u00a0Kelly Clemente found out she was pregnant when she was 18. She had just finished her first semester of college, and up until then, described herself as your typical \u201call-American girl.\u201d She got good grades, was a member of a sorority, and ran on the track team. When she saw that pregnancy test, [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":279,"featured_media":181330,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[7077],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Pregnant at 18, Kelly rejected abortion and placed her baby for adoption<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Kelly found out she was pregnant at 18. 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