{"id":15905,"date":"2012-05-03T17:14:19","date_gmt":"2012-05-03T21:14:19","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.www.liveactionnews.org\/?p=15905"},"modified":"2013-04-03T02:39:10","modified_gmt":"2013-04-03T06:39:10","slug":"seven-steps-to-accepting-abortion","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/seven-steps-to-accepting-abortion\/","title":{"rendered":"Seven steps to accepting abortion"},"content":{"rendered":"
<\/div>

\"\"<\/a>Editor\u2019s Note:<\/em> This is a satire piece.<\/p>\n

Despite the fact that we are in the age of the pill and abortions, many have a hard time accepting this new \u201cway of life.\u201d Such people foolishly do not realize the necessities of such things – not only in situations of sex before marriage and rape, but also when women simply do not feel like having to take care of a child. After all, another child put up for adoption is just more work for us civilized people. So, in order to cure this problem, I have concocted a simple plan toward accepting abortion in a way that will completely numb one\u2019s mind from this common reality.<\/p>\n

1) It\u2019s okay because everyone does it.<\/em> Repeat this phrase to yourself 1 million times, stopping all reason from entering into your mind. After you\u2019re finished, continue immediately to the next step, and your brain should be confused just enough to begin the process of acceptance.<\/p>\n

2) She had an abortion, and she isn\u2019t the devil.<\/em> Go and find some pro-choice woman who had an abortion and is not sorry about it. Make sure that you do not accidentally meet a woman who regrets her abortion and is scarred for life. Be very careful, as these latter women are common, and one may convince you to never accept abortion. The safest bet is to visit someplace like Planned Parenthood, where they will show you the few women who are happy about the procedure.<\/p>\n

3) Stick with the misconception that the fetus is not a human being.<\/em> Ignore any contrary evidence<\/a> shown to you by pro-life activists or scientists<\/a>; they are biased anyway and do not know what they\u2019re talking about. Convince yourself that the fetus is a blob of tissue and not an actual baby.<\/p>\n

4) Void yourself of any emotions.<\/em> Claim that \u201cmurder\u201d is an emotional and misused word, and numb every emotion of guilt and sadness because such feelings are just misleading.<\/p>\n

5) Do not affiliate with Christianity.<\/em> It is very hard, if not impossible, to be a Christian and pro-choice at the same time. If you want to hold onto your faith, then take a pair of scissors and cut the following passages out of the Bible: Exodus 20:13, Exodus 23:7, Deuteronomy 30:19, Job 31:15, Psalm 127:3, Psalm 139: 13-16, and 1 Corinthians 3:16-17. There are many more, so make sure that you thoroughly comb through Scripture and pluck out anything that does not tolerate abortion procedures. Jesus was pro-life, so you might want to cut out the New Testament, too.<\/p>\n

6) \u00a0Stubbornly say that the fetus is a part of the woman\u2019s body. <\/em>If you let those evil, emotional pro-life people get into your head and convince you that the fetus is a separate human being, then you have no chance of accepting abortion.<\/p>\n

7) Make sure you never see an ultrasound.<\/em> Also, make sure that you do not accidentally run into a pro-life activist who might convince you to hate abortion once again. And make sure that you stay off of the internet, or at least stick to the safe sites like Newsweek<\/em> and Time<\/em>. And never watch an actual abortion procedure because your emotional and weak side might slip and let you fall back into your old views. As a matter of fact, it is safest if you become a hermit and live in the woods or move to a place where you will never meet a contrary pro-life person again.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Here’s how to make sure nothing ever interferes with your budding love of abortion.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":253,"featured_media":12388,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"\nSeven steps to accepting abortion - Live Action News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/seven-steps-to-accepting-abortion\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Seven steps to accepting abortion - Live Action News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:description\" content=\"Here's how to make sure nothing ever interferes with your budding love of abortion.\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:url\" content=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/seven-steps-to-accepting-abortion\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:site_name\" content=\"Live Action News\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:publisher\" content=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/liveaction\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:published_time\" content=\"2012-05-03T21:14:19+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"article:modified_time\" content=\"2013-04-03T06:39:10+00:00\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:image\" content=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/02\/woman-look.jpg\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:width\" content=\"1810\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:height\" content=\"1414\" \/>\n\t<meta property=\"og:image:type\" content=\"image\/jpeg\" \/>\n<meta name=\"author\" content=\"Angela Kim\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:card\" content=\"summary_large_image\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:creator\" content=\"@MissAngelaAKim\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:site\" content=\"@liveaction\" \/>\n<meta name=\"twitter:label1\" content=\"Written by\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data1\" content=\"Angela Kim\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:label2\" content=\"Est. reading time\" \/>\n\t<meta name=\"twitter:data2\" content=\"3 minutes\" \/>\n<script type=\"application\/ld+json\" class=\"yoast-schema-graph\">{\"@context\":\"https:\/\/schema.org\",\"@graph\":[{\"@type\":\"Article\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/seven-steps-to-accepting-abortion\/#article\",\"isPartOf\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/seven-steps-to-accepting-abortion\/\"},\"author\":{\"name\":\"Angela Kim\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/#\/schema\/person\/6cc83216c1b3045ee6ce4fa78fe1a0c2\"},\"headline\":\"Seven steps to accepting abortion\",\"datePublished\":\"2012-05-03T21:14:19+00:00\",\"dateModified\":\"2013-04-03T06:39:10+00:00\",\"mainEntityOfPage\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/seven-steps-to-accepting-abortion\/\"},\"wordCount\":579,\"commentCount\":5,\"publisher\":{\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/#organization\"},\"articleSection\":[\"Opinion\"],\"inLanguage\":\"en-US\",\"potentialAction\":[{\"@type\":\"CommentAction\",\"name\":\"Comment\",\"target\":[\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/seven-steps-to-accepting-abortion\/#respond\"]}]},{\"@type\":\"WebPage\",\"@id\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/seven-steps-to-accepting-abortion\/\",\"url\":\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/seven-steps-to-accepting-abortion\/\",\"name\":\"Seven steps to accepting abortion - 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