{"id":15852,"date":"2012-05-02T19:34:50","date_gmt":"2012-05-02T23:34:50","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.www.liveactionnews.org\/?p=15852"},"modified":"2013-04-03T02:41:18","modified_gmt":"2013-04-03T06:41:18","slug":"embraced-by-grace-the-story-of-a-one-womans-choice","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/embraced-by-grace-the-story-of-a-one-womans-choice\/","title":{"rendered":"Embraced by grace: the story of one woman&#8217;s choice"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><p>This is my story.<\/p>\n<p>By the time I was 17, my\u00a0<em>second<\/em>\u00a0dad\u2014the man who raised me\u2014had abandoned me. When I hit the prime of my troublemaking years, there was no dad around to discipline me; only a brokenhearted mom. I could get away with just about anything. And I mean\u00a0<em>anything<\/em>. I was that fatherless girl\u2014scandalous, reckless and unruly\u2014the untamed kind your momma said to stay away from.<em><\/em><\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_15853\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><img aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-15853\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-15853\" src=\"http:\/\/www.www.liveactionnews.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/brittani_large-300x133.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"133\" srcset=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/brittani_large-300x133.jpg 300w, https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/05\/brittani_large.jpg 530w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><p id=\"caption-attachment-15853\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Brittani and Scarlette<\/p><\/div>\n<p><em>I am leaving out the dirty details. One, because they aren\u2019t the point, and two, it would take all day. These are the ugliest, most dreadful parts of my story. But it\u2019s the damage left behind by my senseless, unmanageable behavior that makes my redeemed heart that much more beautiful.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>In August of 2008, that careless, rebellious girl moved away to college with no supervision in sight. I made my own rules. Nobody was there to control me or place boundaries on my dangerous path toward destruction. I immediately caught the attention of the guy across the hall (let\u2019s call him \u2018G\u2019). And we were in a relationship from that very first week until just a few weeks before school let out for summer.<\/p>\n<p><em>*Insert dirty details here. I\u2019m sure you can imagine the trouble I found when I got to live my rash and risqu\u00e9 lifestyle with no restrictions. Whatever awful mess you\u2019re imagining, I probably did it.<\/em><\/p>\n<p>The entire year is really just a blur of sex, drugs and alcohol. And no big surprise, one Thursday morning in April, I was staring at that weird plastic stick. It was screaming PREGNANT before I was even done peeing. \u2018G\u2019s\u2019 only response, other than a blank stare was, \u201cWhy are you crying, Brittani? It\u2019s fine!\u201d<\/p>\n<p><strong>FINE? Really??\u00a0<\/strong>I was anything but fine; I have never felt so mortified, overwhelmed and weak. I was\u00a0<em>pregnant<\/em>\u00a0and my life seemed forever wrecked. I was convinced that I became garbage, and nothing could rescue me from this tragedy.<\/p>\n<p>At this point in life, I rarely went to church\u2014maybe once every 6 or 7 weeks. But I went to church that Sunday. I will never forget the vivid memory of the end of that service, standing with my head bowed and eyes closed, desperately begging God to hear me:<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>God, PLEASE, please make this baby die, if it is even a \u2018real baby.\u2019 Just do it right this minute so by the time I get home I\u2019ll be bleeding and know that I\u2019m okay, my life isn\u2019t over, and I will be able to be happy again. Please, God. I am begging you.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Interrupting my pitiful cry, Pastor Robert declared that famous one-liner, \u201cIf you died right now, are you sure you would go to heaven?\u201d Great timing, right?<\/p>\n<p>\u201c<em>Well, okay, God; I probably won\u2019t go to heaven NOW, since I asked that. I guess if you\u00a0<strong>have<\/strong>\u00a0to let it (if it\u2019s a real baby) stay alive, I am going to need some serious miracles here. Because, God, I absolutely do not have the strength to handle this.<\/em>\u00a0<em>I just can\u2019t do it.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>Two weeks later, \u2018G\u2019 broke up with me. I\u2019ll never forget the exact words he said: \u201cSorry, Brittani, but I want to have a life.\u201d\u00a0<strong>Have a life?\u00a0<\/strong>I wanted to \u2018have a life\u2019 too! The kind he was referring to. One that a knocked-up girl just can\u2019t participate in. But I couldn\u2019t see right then that if anyone\u00a0<strong>had a life<\/strong>, I did. That precious, innocent life inside me was bringing a bigger, better life than I had imagined in my wildest dreams.<em><\/em><\/p>\n<p>In those next days, I had to deal with \u2018G\u2019 moving on to another girl. I can\u2019t even begin to describe the pain of watching your boyfriend get together with some other girl minutes after dumping you.\u00a0<strong>ESPECIALLY WHEN YOU\u2019RE PREGNANT WITH HIS KID.<\/strong>\u00a0Every minute was an hour, and I had nobody, absolutely\u00a0<strong>nobody.<\/strong>\u00a0I genuinely felt that there was nothing I could do, nowhere could I go, and I was destined for absolute misery for eternity. I could not escape the heartache and frustration of watching everyone else carry on with life while I sat fully crushed, broken and defeated. I repeatedly cried out to God:<\/p>\n<p><em>\u201cWhy are You doing this to ME?\u00a0<\/em><em>Would you just solve ONE of these problems? Take just ONE of these punishments away from me? Please.\u201d<\/em><\/p>\n<p>After making it through the most devastating weeks of my life to that point, I ended up moving home. As months passed, I became less frightened of being pregnant and most of the torture began to disappear. But I still felt alone, unwanted and desperate.<\/p>\n<p>All my life, I had been set on having an abortion if I ever got pregnant. I am so thankful that God\u2019s plan is a million times better than my own. When I ended up pregnant, it was none other than a\u00a0<em>miracle from God<\/em>\u00a0that abortion didn\u2019t cross my mind. I wasn\u2019t at all opposed, and probably would have been first in line. God was right there protecting my daughter, and me, too.\u00a0<strong>God saved that baby\u2019s life, so she could save mine. Without her, who knows when I would have met Jesus or where I\u2019d be right now.<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>When I was 7 months pregnant, a friend told me about a group for unwed pregnant girls called Embrace Grace. I had nothing better to do anyway, so I thought I might try it out. I was so anxious, I probably turned around 20 times before I actually got to the meeting that first night. I couldn\u2019t grasp the idea of any church group for broken, knocked-up sinners like me. I figured it was a bunch of \u2018churchy\u2019 old ladies, pretending to like me but who would never see me as anything more than a slut. But, desperate for\u00a0<em>anything<\/em>\u00a0to hold onto, I went anyway. I had no idea when I walked in that Monday night I would\u00a0<strong>never be the same again.\u00a0<\/strong>My life and my destiny were completely changed, and with it, the life and destiny of my unborn baby girl.<\/p>\n<p>There, I could escape being \u2018that pregnant girl\u2019, and just be Brittani. It didn\u2019t matter that I was pregnant, or that I had made so many messy mistakes. These people simply wanted to love me. In our meetings, I heard familiar stories of God: about hope, forgiveness, and grace. It sounded pretty and perfect, but I felt sure those things didn\u2019t apply to a girl like me. Of course, God forgives and Jesus died to cover it all, but I wanted to tell them, \u201cYou have no idea just how much junk I\u2019ve got to cover!\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When I first saw God, it was when these brave, bold women of Christ chose to reach out and rescue me from my hopeless misery. They showed me God\u2019s unconditional love and grace, and His huge plans for me despite my mistakes. They were brave enough to love the unlovely\u2014that hopeless girl who I once was, and those usually shamed by society,\u00a0<em>especially<\/em>\u00a0church society.<\/p>\n<p>One special EG testimony night, women came and told their own dirty details, and showed me that when they were damaged, lonely and knocked-up messes\u2014God met them right there. I saw real miracles in women like me; they had happy families and husbands and babies. It was hard to believe at one time they were just as afraid, devastated, and pregnant as I was. I realized if God gave them a beautiful ending, maybe He would do that for me too. I finally understood that the God stories I had heard so many times counted for\u00a0<em>everyone<\/em>, even imperfect disasters like me.<strong>\u00a0<\/strong>Just maybe, He could remake this wild-child and let me be<em>His\u00a0<\/em>child.<\/p>\n<p>After that revelation, I was determined to see Him for myself, read with my own eyes, and experience Him on my own. I bought a Bible and spent nearly every minute left of my pregnancy in my bed reading it. The words that had seemed so meaningless and confusing all my life now made perfect sense; as if God wrote them just for\u00a0<strong>me.<\/strong>\u00a0<em>I sought Him, and He found me. Right there in that frightening and hideous place where most people assume God would never go.<\/em>\u00a0His word made things perfectly clear\u2014Jesus was mine and He would have died just for me\u2014despite my cracks and stains. He completely loves me. Unconditional means NO CONDITIONS. He gave me a brand new heart and I was a brand new woman.<\/p>\n<p>By this time, I had collected a million baby names and I changed my mind a hundred times a day. But, God called my baby girl by name before she was born. Only, months\u00a0<em>after<\/em>\u00a0she was born I realized exactly why He called her Scarlette.<\/p>\n<p>[<strong>Scar-let:\u00a0<\/strong>Adjective\/ skarlit<strong>\/\u00a0<\/strong><em>of a brilliant red color.<\/em>]<\/p>\n<p>I can\u2019t think of a more brilliant red color than the color of the blood of Jesus. It\u2019s that very blood that will allow me to spend eternity with my baby girl in Heaven. His scarlet blood\u2026that\u2019s my Scarlette. He planned for her to draw me to Jesus before she was ever born.\u00a0<strong>SHE WAS BORN TO BREAK THE CHAINS.<\/strong>\u00a0He didn\u2019t deal me death for my sins; He blessed me with\u00a0<strong>life<\/strong>\u00a0instead.<\/p>\n<p>Today, I\u2019m 21, finishing my bachelor\u2019s degree, and a very proud Momma to a gorgeous two-year-old princess. I teach Embrace Grace now, the same group that rescued me from the devastating darkness when I was pregnant. When I got pregnant I felt my life was completely shattered and I was sentenced to an eternity of feeling miserable and worthless. I was so unbelievably wrong.\u00a0<em>The promises of God have NO EXPIRATION DATE,\u00a0<\/em>and my hopes and dreams of a fairytale ending are not destroyed. His promises don\u2019t change just because you get pregnant; actually, His promises to me became bigger and more beautiful when Scarlette\u2019s life began. Now I get to experience each blessing with a beautiful little girl by my side. My God knows how to make beauty from even the ugliest ashes. And here I am nearly three years later\u2014holding Jesus by one hand and my sweet baby with the other\u2014and I am living a life more beautiful than anything I could ever have imagined.<\/p>\n<p>Editor&#8217;s note: This story was originally printed at <a href=\"http:\/\/destinyinbloom.com\/\">Destiny in Bloom <\/a>on April 16, 2012. Reprinted with permission.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>My little girl brought meaning into my life the likes of which I never could have imagined.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":116,"featured_media":15853,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[3],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>Embraced by grace: the story of one woman&#039;s choice - Live Action News<\/title>\n<meta name=\"robots\" content=\"index, follow, max-snippet:-1, max-image-preview:large, max-video-preview:-1\" \/>\n<link rel=\"canonical\" href=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/embraced-by-grace-the-story-of-a-one-womans-choice\/\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:locale\" content=\"en_US\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:type\" content=\"article\" \/>\n<meta property=\"og:title\" content=\"Embraced by grace: the story of one woman&#039;s choice - 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Her favorite thing to do is dress up her baby girl in girly clothes and the biggest hair bows she can find! When not caring for her sweet daughter, she is juggling her homework and school projects. Brittani graduates with her bachelor's from Texas Woman's University in a few weeks, and plans to go back for her Masters. She is also a leader for Embrace Grace, a support group for single and pregnant girls. She loves encouraging and uplifting girls that have an unplanned pregnancy and sharing her own story of how God used her own pregnancy to save her! She loves to see miracles happen in girls in the shoes she's once walked in! 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