{"id":12701,"date":"2012-03-07T19:03:25","date_gmt":"2012-03-08T00:03:25","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.www.liveactionnews.org\/?p=12701"},"modified":"2016-09-30T13:01:48","modified_gmt":"2016-09-30T17:01:48","slug":"at-eight-months-my-doctor-said-he-would-absolutely-perform-the-abortion-for-me","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/at-eight-months-my-doctor-said-he-would-absolutely-perform-the-abortion-for-me\/","title":{"rendered":"At eight months, my doctor said he would \u201cabsolutely perform the abortion for me\u201d"},"content":{"rendered":"<div style=\"margin-top: 0px; margin-bottom: 0px;\" class=\"sharethis-inline-share-buttons\" ><\/div><div id=\"attachment_12702\" style=\"width: 235px\" class=\"wp-caption alignleft\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.www.liveactionnews.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/377625_187932984624873_100002245195626_400705_1567241828_n.jpg\"><img aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12702\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12702\" title=\"377625_187932984624873_100002245195626_400705_1567241828_n\" src=\"http:\/\/www.www.liveactionnews.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/377625_187932984624873_100002245195626_400705_1567241828_n-225x300.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"225\" height=\"300\" srcset=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/377625_187932984624873_100002245195626_400705_1567241828_n-225x300.jpg 225w, https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/377625_187932984624873_100002245195626_400705_1567241828_n.jpg 722w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 225px) 100vw, 225px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-12702\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Smily Titus in his Rabbit<\/p><\/div>\n<p>When you walk into Nicole and Steven\u2019s house, you get the sense that they are parents who thoroughly enjoy their three kids.\u00a0 You\u2019ll find Steven running down the narrow hallway while all the kids scream in delight, chasing each other and him.\u00a0 Nicole patiently fixes healthy meals for them while explaining to the youngest that she can\u2019t climb up on the counter to help because the crockpot is just too hot for little hands.\u00a0 You\u2019ll see Titus, their only son proudly popping wheelies in his special wheelchair while the family cheers.\u00a0 They are a family who seems to enjoy the little moments; the precious memories that the years have brought.<\/p>\n<p>Entering their house, you\u2019d never guess the ordeal they went through almost four years ago.\u00a0 Four years ago, Nicole was eight months pregnant with Titus, their second child.\u00a0 Since she was planning for a home birth, Nicole doesn\u2019t remember exactly why she went in for an ultrasound that fateful\u2014and miraculous\u2014day.<\/p>\n<p>As the routine ultrasound was being performed, Nicole could tell that something was definitely up.\u00a0 The doctor said nothing, but quickly called in another doctor.\u00a0 They consulted together while watching the screen and leaving Nicole clueless and helpless.\u00a0 For some reason, spina bifida popped into Nicole\u2019s mind.\u00a0 \u201cIs it spina bifida?\u201d she asked.\u00a0 But the doctor couldn\u2019t tell her anything; he just showed her what he saw on the screen.\u00a0 And it wasn\u2019t good.\u00a0 Nicole and Steven were sent to a specialist, immediately.<\/p>\n<p>The specialist had a huge ultrasound screen for Nicole and Steven to stare at.\u00a0 While they watched their eight-month-old son move his arms and head; while they saw his little heart beat quickly, the specialist diagnosed spina bifida and hydrocephalus, and\u00a0 put it all out there:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>He said it was the biggest lesion he had ever seen; that our son would probably never go to the bathroom on his own.\u00a0 He\u2019d never walk, never talk.\u00a0 He said this based on a 30 second ultrasound.\u00a0 He said, \u2018I will absolutely perform the abortion for you.\u2019\u00a0 I could see Titus\u2019 arms and head moving and his heart beating at the time the doctor said this.\u00a0 He was emphatic that Titus would be basically a vegetable and mentally retarded.\u00a0 And that it would be unfair to him for me to give birth.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>At that moment, Nicole and Steven realized that their role in Titus\u2019 life would be so much more than \u201cparent.\u201d\u00a0 Their role was now \u201cadvocate\u201d, too.\u00a0 Without a word shared between them, both Nicole and Steven knew they would never accept abortion as an answer\u2014no matter what the truth about Titus was.<\/p>\n<p>Nicole explains:\u00a0 &#8220;From our faith, we believe that every life is precious\u2014a gift from God\u2014whether \u2018normal\u2019 or \u2018perfect\u2019 or not.\u201d\u00a0 She also realized that it was divine intervention that the ultrasound had even taken place at all.\u00a0 A medical professional assured Nicole that, had she gone ahead with the planned home birth, either her or Titus would have certainly died from infection.\u00a0 \u201cNothing was left to chance,\u201d Nicole says.\u00a0 \u201cIt was all orchestrated.\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When Titus was born by c-section, Nicole was only allowed to see his face.\u00a0 She couldn\u2019t touch her son for at least two days, as he was recovering from immediate surgery for the softball-sized lesion on his back.\u00a0 Though she couldn\u2019t touch him, Nicole refused to leave Titus\u2019 side, even sleeping on the floor of the NICU to be beside him.<\/p>\n<div id=\"attachment_12703\" style=\"width: 310px\" class=\"wp-caption alignright\"><a href=\"http:\/\/www.www.liveactionnews.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/316353_168683936549778_100002245195626_341978_459017841_n.jpg\"><img aria-describedby=\"caption-attachment-12703\" decoding=\"async\" loading=\"lazy\" class=\"size-medium wp-image-12703\" title=\"316353_168683936549778_100002245195626_341978_459017841_n\" src=\"http:\/\/www.www.liveactionnews.org\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/316353_168683936549778_100002245195626_341978_459017841_n-300x225.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"300\" height=\"225\" srcset=\"https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/316353_168683936549778_100002245195626_341978_459017841_n-300x225.jpg 300w, https:\/\/archive.liveaction.org\/news\/wp-content\/uploads\/2012\/03\/316353_168683936549778_100002245195626_341978_459017841_n.jpg 960w\" sizes=\"(max-width: 300px) 100vw, 300px\" \/><\/a><p id=\"caption-attachment-12703\" class=\"wp-caption-text\">Titus as a Super Cute, Fuzzy-Haired Toddler<\/p><\/div>\n<p>Nicole firmly believes that God has defied human knowledge and wisdom through Titus\u2019s life.\u00a0 Her strong Christian faith leads her to believe that God is not controlled by the predictions of men.\u00a0 She will confidently tell you that the Lord has given their family everything they need to endure Titus\u2019 difficulties.\u00a0 Is it hard?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 Is there pain?\u00a0 Yes.\u00a0 But, Titus\u2019 courage and preciousness overwhelms everything else.\u00a0 He continues to prove the \u201cspecialist\u201d wrong:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Every milestone, he has hit either before or right on.\u00a0 He is very intelligent and able.\u00a0 Titus doesn\u2019t complain and fuss about why his legs don\u2019t work or about anything else.\u00a0 He loves to do what little boys do.\u00a0 He knows his letters, numbers, and shapes\u2014has known them since he was 2 \u00bd.\u00a0 We wouldn\u2019t have it any other way.\u00a0 Titus is definitely a huge addition to our family.\u00a0 This is how God made him\u2014I fully believe this.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Nicole credits two things for helping her get through the shock of Titus\u2019 diagnosis and giving her the strength to give him life:\u00a0 her strong faith in Christ and the year she spent working at a crisis pregnancy center in California.\u00a0 There, she grew in her confidence that each baby was indeed a precious individual, deserving of an equal chance at life.\u00a0 She believes parents often take the words of doctors too far and begin to question, \u201cCan I really handle this?\u00a0 Is it really fair to my child?\u201d<\/p>\n<p>When I asked Nicole what she would say to other parents facing a similar diagnosis, she said:<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>I would say that for me, immediately, it was always either the Lord knows me or he doesn\u2019t.\u00a0 And He either knows I need this or I don\u2019t.\u00a0 Whatever happens in my life is His will for me at this time.\u00a0 This means I can move mountains.\u00a0 If this baby having issues or conditions is His will for me, it means I can get through it.\u00a0 If you think that someone tells you from a human perspective what you can or can\u2019t handle, you don\u2019t know God as the great Physician.\u00a0\u00a0 We shouldn\u2019t try to alter things in our own humanness or do something without knowing all the facts.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Even Nicole\u2019s doctor didn\u2019t have all the facts right.\u00a0 You can never know all the facts about your unborn child before they&#8217;re born.\u00a0 As Nicole believes, there\u2019s no way you should make a decision to abort a child at all, but certainly not based off an ultrasound or a test.<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Off an ultrasound, you cannot know a baby or everything about them or what they\u2019re really like.\u00a0 There was no way the doctor knew all he said he knew about my son from that screen.\u00a0 Lots of times, the ultrasounds or tests are wrong anyway:\u00a0 when the mother says, \u2018I don\u2019t care,\u2019 and the baby\u2019s born, and nothing is wrong at all.\u00a0 How would you feel if someone could show you what your five year old would look like and you could see them face to face\u2014would you be happy you ended their life?<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>About Titus, Nicole shares,<\/p>\n<blockquote><p>Right away, his life was a testimony.\u00a0 He\u2019s so much fun\u2014everyone that meets him loves him.\u00a0 He\u2019s a really special kid.\u00a0 And almost everything the doctor said [besides the actual diagnosis of spina bifida and hydrocephalus] is completely wrong.<\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p>Nicole believes that more parents should educate themselves because knowledge is power.\u00a0 Doctors are important, she says, and they have a purpose, but <em>you<\/em> are the parent.\u00a0 The more you understand about anything you may have to go through, the more strength you&#8217;ll have for an arrow you\u2019d otherwise not be prepared for.\u00a0 Things have changed so drastically over the years for babies born with spina bifida and other conditions, and they can truly lead almost normal lives.<\/p>\n<p>Of course, normality (whatever that is!) is not the measure of a person\u2019s worth, but it\u2019s true that people have a very wrong perception of what individuals with Down Syndrome, spina bifida, and other \u201cdisabilities\u201d can achieve in their lives.<\/p>\n<p>In the end, Nicole says, \u201cI wouldn\u2019t have it any other way\u2026.It doesn\u2019t matter what the child is or isn\u2019t\u2014they\u2019re a gift!\u201d<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>When you walk into Nicole and Steven\u2019s house, you get the sense that they are parents who thoroughly enjoy their three kids.\u00a0 You\u2019ll find Steven running down the narrow hallway while all the kids scream in delight, chasing each other and him.\u00a0 Nicole patiently fixes healthy meals for them while explaining to the youngest that [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":12703,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"om_disable_all_campaigns":false},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v20.7 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/wordpress\/plugins\/seo\/ -->\n<title>At 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